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My 14 year old Son is totally out of control and I'm at my wits end.
He lives with my ex some distance from me (about 80 miles) and has anger issues which have got worse since about age 5. This past year his behaviour has spiralled. He has become known to the law - arrested for criminal damage in his own home, been given a referral order for criminal damage and assault against his mother, wont engage in his anger management sessions, smokes (cigs and pot), has stolen to fund this and has been found with knives.
Since Jan he has also decided to not go to school. This is difficult as he flatly refuses his mother and is too big to physically force. Even if I were there each day, I would have a full scale fight on my hands and even if he were dragged to the school would just leave.
The school are quite useless and I believe just want rid of him. The Local Education Authority are much better and there is a Common Assessment Framework in place. The team include CAMHS, LEA, Youth Offending Team, Youth Workers etc. None of this makes any difference and he has as much disrespect for them as he does his parents.
Recently the LEA have been sending letters about the possibility of legal against the parents even though they are 100% aware of the efforts and various strategies in place (they are a part of them!). They have also witnessed his violent outburst first hand.
A court appearance and possible fine for his parents just makes him say that its our tough luck. I really do think legal action will be taken as the LEA are bound by this inflexible law to do so.
My Son just carries on regardless as he knows there are no consequences to him (that affect him at this age) and he will not listen to advice about the future.
Does anyone have any similar experience or advice? This is very worrying and difficult to cope with.
Hi
That sounds like a very tough situation - it's good to hear that there is some support being attempted, rather than just assuming there is no hope, so keep working with the organisations in question as much as possible.
I'm not sure if the CCLC are able to advise in this, but I'll certainly ask them to pop on and comment, so keep an eye out on here.
Thanks ACTD
A couple of thoughts on this - and it may be worth contacting your MP. The LEA may be bound by law to prosecute, but the CPS are the body who actually proceed and as far as I can recall, they have criteria on whether to proceed with an action - firstly is there a realistic chance of a conviction, and secondly, is it in the public interest. I would say that they probably could get a conviction, but in light of your cooperation, I wouldn't say that it's in the public interest. In addition, if they do proceed and you are convicted, then in passing a sentence, the court take into account mitigating circumstances, and I would say that the co-operation you have been showing would count towards this, plus the fact that your job is all the more difficult because your son doesn't live with you.
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