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Hello, I don't want to be a bleeding heart or anything but here goes.
My ex moved around 80 miles away from me 5 years ago and every weekend I have off work (I work as a paramedic) I go pick her up, bring her back to mine then drop her off on the Sunday.
This has been the case for a long time now but now I begun asking her to share the journeys with me i.e. meet halfway/do one trip each. My work is very stressful and tiring and I can't keep doing these trips.
She is completely refusing giving a different excuse each time.
Is there any legal standing and where would I stand if we did go to mediation?
Any thoughts or advice would be very much appreciated.
Thanks.
Hi cfd89
I don't think you're a bleeding heart at all. Sounds like you doing two 160 mile round trips every time you see your daughter at the weekend. That's 320 miles, which is an awful lot to do on your weekend off and must work out quite expensive as well.
Splitting the travel sounds fair. What excuse is your ex giving for not even discussing this with you? I'm not sure if you have much legally you could do, however mediation is a good thing to consider - nothing agreed in mediation is legally binding but you maybe able to come up with a compromise that you can both live with.
Gooner
Hi there and welcome to the forum.
There isn't a legal standing on this unfortunately, some non resident parents get shared travel to facilitate contact and some don't. It has a lot to do with the judge making the order I'm afraid.
Mediation would be a good idea, this is now compulsory before any court action can be taken, but I would like to stress that court should always be the last resort, it puts a tremendous amount of stress on the relationship between separated parents.
As contact is settled the application you could look at making would be a Specific Issue Order.
Best of luck
Hi CFD,
I'm afraid that, as mentioned by Mojo and Gooner there is no legal standing or enforceable legislation relating to transport for contact...
If it's any consolation, you are not alone. My Ex relocated 70 miles away to move in with her new partner and took the kids with her.
Court order states that she has to "make the children available for contact" but does not cover travel arrangements.
So twice a month i do the 280 mile round trip for weekend overnight contact with the kids...
Not great for the kids, and as you say - tiring for the driver.
Unfortunately it appears to be another one of those things where, as the parent wanting contact, you have to "make the effort" (read incur more financial expense)
If you are paying Child Maintenance through the CMS, you could suggest to the ex that, if you're doing all the transport you're inclined to put in an expenses variation which will cut her money down - see if that would swing her towards being a bit more agreeable rather than losing money?
BD
Hi , im in same boat but 220 miles each way, so you not to bad. its wrong they can move away with no conciquences .
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