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Hello,
Throwaway as restrictions on the case are in place, but I need help.
I will be brief as I want to focus on getting some help here. But basically, a previous ex gf who I had my first child with stopped me seeing my daughter when she was 1 week old. She carried out a campaign of manipulation and defamation and has done so for 10 years. When she was born, I took my ex to mediation when she stopped visitation, but she did not show. I spent a lot of money on solicitor fees to get there, all in vain, ran out of money (was jobless teen at the time) and had a mental health breakdown, almost died etc. Now, my daughter is 10, I have heard and seen evidence of (from police too) that my ex's partner of 6/7 years has abused my child physically (ABH against a minor) and a safeguarding conference was called. I was invited to the conference by accident (sorry, left this crucial part out, she registered the child without me) and since then I decided I was going [censored] to the wall and representing myself in court. I've had the first hearing whcih was a directions hearing. The mother has been difficult at every obstacle, adjourning and complaining about dates etc. can't get childcare etc etc. point is, I am starting to feel like the courts are against me. CAFCASS have told me they only shared the Safeguardin report with the court and can't share it with me, I have submitted a Subject Access Request to get this information. Over the course of the years, my ex has maniupated every person and organisation she meets to make me out to be a controlling and abusive person. She even went as far as attending domestic abuse courses when I was trying to get access last time, so that it gave her a paper trail. She is supported in court by her social worker, who I have never met, but appears to have been told a lot of lies about me. The fact is she was physically, mentally and emotionally abusive, and I also have been told she is physically abusive to her current partner and him to her etc. (and my child as well).
In the hearing, which magistrates wanted to press ahead with DNA testing, ex said child was afraid of the outcome of the DNA test as its one step closer to me controlling her (my child I haven't seen since she was born, how would she be scared ??? Ex obviously mentally abusing child too).
Magistrates retired and came back and scheduled another hearing several months away in front of a District Judge, asked me and ex to write a statement as to the WHY's of the case. This is fine, as I have gone into great detail about why. But I still feel like I am alone, and that she has managed to manipulate everyone against me with lies. How is this allowed to happen when the child is factually getting abused at her current home (she has had to be moved to ex's mums house as ex still living with abuser, wow).
Help.
I take it that you are not on the birth certificate? In theory that means you don't have parental responsibility so you could start by making an application for that. All fine if mother agrees but there is a process if not. You can find information on the www.gov.uk website. Search for parental rights and responsibilities. Are you making child maintenance payments? Unfortunately courts are busy and hearings can be several months away. There are also some guides on the advicenow.org.uk website which includes one on representing yourself in court. I guess it's going to take a while to build a relationship with your child after all this time but I wish you all the best with this. It seems that your child is safe with her grandmother which is the important thing.
hi,
its likely court will tell Cafcass to do a welfare report, and they will make recommendations for Cafcass. hope it goes well for you. feel free get in touch if you need help.
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