to be ex-spouse stopped paying her share of mortgage

To be honest, I think you are best getting professional legal advice straigh away on this - my first thoughts are that you speak to the mortgage company and let the mortgage fall into arrears, and let them take possession, this will badly affect your credit rating, so you definitely need the professional advice as this could be the wrong thing to do for reasons I haven't thought of.

That must be very difficult for you.  I know of a case some years ago when the mortgage went into default and the mortgage company repossessed the house.  Ex with 2 children were homeless and the council had to rehouse them.  They were in a bed and breakfast hotel for a while and then a council house.  The bank is a business and will take possession of the property regardless.  Agree best to speak to the mortgage company so they are aware of the situation.  A court will make her disclose assets and financial situation but I can see there will be a legal battle before she does that.  Perhaps you could take some legal advice and do some work yourself to keep costs down? Hopefully she is keeping to the 50/50 arrangement for child care.

Posted by: @lexk

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Hi,

new here but need an urgent advice.

I am over two years separated with wife, all this time we had bitter legal battles over our two children (6 and 3). We have a 50/50 shared care order in place. There is no financial order, and ex refuses to acknowledge to court receipt of my divorce application. Ex lives in what was our familiy home, which we own jointly and have a joint mortgage. I live in a rental property. I've been fully paying the mortgage till January 2023, when fixed rate period has expired and payments became unaffordable. Ex contributed for two payments in January and February, but in March her contribution did not arrive and the mortgage is now in arrears. She says that she has no intention to pay any more money, and says that the bank won't be able to take her out of property because she has two small children.

What are my options? And what should I do?

The property was not cheap when we bought it and now can be in light negative equity or just break even.

Ex refuses to share details of her employment or financial situation and says that she barely has money for food. At the same time she refuses any mediation or to sell the property. In summer 2022 she refused to cooperate in any way in trying to secure a new mortgage. Untill now we also had endless legal battles and spent tens of thousands of pounds in legal fees per year, which seems to continue.

The situation is so irrational that I cannot understand what she wants other than me paying for everything. To add to context, we are having an extremely acrimonious separation. Our separation happened when she sought refuge in domestic violence shelter falsely accusing me of home violence. She failed however to convince judge who did not believe her lies and ordered children to be with both parents on equal basis. This has infuriated her and she spent next year creating trouble, with older son's school, the police, GP, constantly raising grade of her actions, to now unbearable level. Recently she tried to get a referral from GP to psychological specialist for our older son, and I am afraid that she may be trying to get some mental illness diagnosis for him. She refuses to cooperate on any issues related to divorce and separation of assets, has been sending police to my home claiming that I obducted children and so on. I am in my 40's living a nightmare life thanks to my ex's efforts, and now on top of everything come issues with possible property repossession.

I know that I need to speak to a lawyer, but thought that someone here can give a practical advice first.

Hi, a few tips

• Find a reputable family law attorney who specializes in divorce and child custody cases. They will provide you with specific advice based on the laws in your jurisdiction and the details of your case.

• Collect any evidence that can support your claim regarding your ex's financial situation. This may include bank statements, tax returns, pay stubs, or any other relevant documents. Your attorney can help you determine what specific evidence is necessary.

• In legal proceedings, you can request that your ex provide full financial disclosure, including information about her employment, income, and assets. Your attorney can assist you in preparing the necessary documents to make this request.

• Continue documenting any incidents or communication that may be relevant to your case, especially those that involve false accusations or attempts to undermine your position as a parent. These records can be valuable in demonstrating patterns of behavior.

• Ensure that you are providing a stable and supportive environment for your children. Encourage open communication, maintain consistent routines, and consider involving a family therapist or counselor if necessary.

With the Governments Mortgage Charter in place you will be able to negotiate the Mortgages terms to reduce payments by extending the term or switching to interest only.

Make sure that you make them aware of your situation as they should treat you as a vulnerable client.

Is the ex aware that as a joint Mortgagee her credit rating will also be affected, making it difficult for her to obtain credit and also make it more expensive.?If its  one missed payment that can be rectified if it starts to get worse the impact will be greater. Banks are increasingly reluctant to repossess in the current climate irrespective of the owners situation. 

Its a difficult situation , I cant offer any advice on the legal side, but I do wonder if she can be compelled to engage in some way?

Good luck

Posted by: @lexk

↑

Hi,

new here but need an urgent advice.

I am over two years separated with wife, all this time we had bitter legal battles over our two children (6 and 3). We have a 50/50 shared care order in place. There is no financial order, and ex refuses to acknowledge to court receipt of my divorce application. Ex lives in what was our familiy home, which we own jointly and have a joint mortgage. I live in a rental property. I've been fully paying the mortgage till January 2023, when fixed rate period has expired and payments became unaffordable. Ex contributed for two payments in January and February, but in March her contribution did not arrive and the mortgage is now in arrears. She says that she has no intention to pay any more money, and says that the bank won't be able to take her out of property because she has two small children.

What are my options? And what should I do?

The property was not cheap when we bought it and now can be in light negative equity or just break even.

Ex refuses to share details of her employment or financial situation and says that she barely has money for food. At the same time she refuses any mediation or to sell the property. In summer 2022 she refused to cooperate in any way in trying to secure a new mortgage. Untill now we also had endless legal battles and spent tens of thousands of pounds in legal fees per year, which seems to continue.

The situation is so irrational that I cannot understand what she wants other than me paying for everything. To add to context, we are having an extremely acrimonious separation. Our separation happened when she sought refuge in domestic violence shelter falsely accusing me of home violence. She failed however to convince judge who did not believe her lies and ordered children to be with both parents on equal basis. This has infuriated her and she spent next year creating trouble, with older son's school, the police, GP, constantly raising grade of her actions, to now unbearable level. Besides this I am thinking of turning to services that will help me solve this, first of all I decided to turn to this source https://edusson.com/write-my-speech to write me a speech, this should help me at least manage to get in touch with my ex-wife, I hope that this will soon be resolved, because until I have no possibility to work and it is hard for me to support myself and the child. Recently she tried to get a referral from GP to psychological specialist for our older son, and I am afraid that she may be trying to get some mental illness diagnosis for him. She refuses to cooperate on any issues related to divorce and separation of assets, has been sending police to my home claiming that I obducted children and so on. I am in my 40's living a nightmare life thanks to my ex's efforts, and now on top of everything come issues with possible property repossession.

I know that I need to speak to a lawyer, but thought that someone here can give a practical advice first.

First of all, how's your thing going?

Given the complexity and acrimony of your separation, it's crucial to consult with a lawyer who specializes in family law and can provide personalized advice tailored to your specific circumstances. They can help you explore legal options regarding the joint property, child custody, and financial matters.