[Solved] Time to admit defeat.......goodbye all

Hi mate,

Good luck in what you decide. All us alienated fathers have felt what you have felt. I am sorry the legal system did not work for you and it is unfortunate the ex does not value you as a father and want you part of your childs life. However I wish you well.

Hi,
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I wish you well the path you are about to take is a tough one, and you will still need the support of your wife, and possibly this forum.
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I'd say don't leave the forum, you have been on a journey and you have experience, it can be helpful for your own state of mind to pass that exsperience on, I know yours wasn't a good experience, but you may be able to help others along thier path or even offer support to others who aren't able to see thier children.
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It's your choice it's just a thought.
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You also have a private message from me (or will do soon)
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GTTS

Hi Candywhite

I'm not sure that the GP and school can refuse you as you have PR, indirect contact or not....but I can understand that you need to concentrate on your wife and step children right now....perhaps you can revisit at a later date.

Maybe you will feel differently when you have had time to recover, I would leave the door open for yourself mentally, you're at a low ebb right now, but once the numbness and pain subsides you may wish to have another go at it.....whatever you decide though you have our support and best wishes for the future.

As GTTS says, think about sticking around and helping others, or at least dropping by from time to time to let us know how you're doing.

Best of luck

I'm not sure whether this will help, but it might be worth keeping a regular video diary from now on, telling your children how much you miss them, and just things in general. You could also write a letter to them and keep a copy yourself on a regular basis, I'm thinking that in years to come, if you are able to re-establish contact when your children are old enough, this sort of thing is going to show them that they were always in your thoughts, despite whatever your ex tells them.

Not much I can really say, but thought I would come to give my understanding on your decision to withdraw.

It is a big decision to make and one I very nearly made myself so can appreciate why you have arrived at the decision you have.

Obviously, you have a lot to lose on both fronts but again, these Courts are opting not to get tough on mothers who continually flout contact. I wish you all the best and hope that perhaps one day you might decide its time to try again, or, your children decide for themselves they want to know who their real father is.

Best of Luck whichever path you take.

I was very close to making a similar decision and found that even with PR, the mother was still in control. GPs won't tell me nothing unless mother authorised it!

Look at netmums' forum and you'll see that even with new partners, boyfriends and relatives trying to fill the biological father's shoes, the puzzle remains incomplete.

Take time out, regain mental strength, recompose yourself and exercise your PR in whatever form.

Goodluck nevertheless.

I love this idea. I decided to buy a nice tin (girly one), for my daughter. When I am feeling as if I need to explain my feelings, my actions, or thoughts I write her a letter. I also buy the occasional trinket just to let her know I was thinking of her. As I had a child late in life I am hoping that she might look back, reflect, and understand that I did all that I could for her, that I love her, and I think of her every day.