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Just a message really to say keep y chin up while going through courts to anyone trying to get access ...there are times when it will try break you there will be times when it breaks you down in tears or breaks you to the point where thoughts of suicide.times where you feel alone and you just want to give up times when you feel everyone involved is trying to screw you over times when you think what more can i do or thinking that you just cant take anymore and are mentally and emotionally and all the energy is sucked out of you but we some how find a way to get through another day through this awful long heart breaking painful court process but you just have to try hang in there and take one day at a time .keep y chin up everyone i know its tough to when things arent going right but just one day at a time .
It's painful, I've been there.
What I found helped me more than anything was researching everything I could - family law, the process in court, child welfare - anything and everything that had a bearing on my situation.
As time went on and the hearings mounted up, I was able to wipe away the tears and go head to head with judges and barristers - on their terms - knowing some of what they know.
It still hurts of course, even years down the line. But rather than let that pain overwhelm me, I used it to be productive and improve my knowledge.
In the darkest of times try and think of this and also put yourself in the position of your Child.....
How would your child feel if they ever found out that you gave up when the going got tough.
or
How would your child feel if they ever found out that you took your life.
The first always kept me from thinking that i'd be better off no longer here.
Focus on your child's needs not your own, you may not think they need you but in years to come when they do you need to be there as strong as possible for them.
When i was very young my parents almost split up, i remember my father coming in to my bedroom upset and telling me that he loved me and no matter what happend that i should never forget him and that he couldn't live with my mother any longer and needed to leave.
I begged him not to leave me and to take me with him.
not sure about what happened in the following week as i went to spend time with relatives but my parents stayed together and made it work.
i look back at that and did the very same when i eventually left my childs mother, it was the hardest thing i've ever had to do and took me well over 18mths before i gave up and left, i'd tried so hard to get it to work just like my father had. but i failed because the ex would not be reasonable and so i left, my child was much much younger than i was so i thought it would be easier for (child) to deal with and as i was going to stay in (childs) life then it wasn't going to be too difficult.
I promised my child that i would never do anything stupid or give up on them and i would give everything i have to stay in their life as long as possible....i may fail on that but not through my own doing, it will only be the courts that make me give up fighting.
and of that day comes then i will know i gave everything i could to prevent it but will not take the selfish route because i want my (child) to know i never gave up.
Chin up....focus on your child's needs and not your own.
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