[Solved] The next last battle

Is that the Karma bus I hear coming? Let's hope so! Just wanted to add my encouragement, like you I won't hold my breath but it's an encouraging development that I truly hope is setting the scene for proper justice for you and your child.

I will be watching your space with quiet anticipation. All the best.

I do like it when judges order that the case be listed back with themselves, it means he/she wants to finish the job properly, and the guilty party shouldn't be in any doubt that it's not going to be good if they don't comply. Good luck again 🙂

I do like it when judges order that the case be listed back with themselves, it means he/she wants to finish the job properly, and the guilty party shouldn't be in any doubt that it's not going to be good if they don't comply. Good luck again 🙂

So pleased for you Dad-i-Dad. Hoping my friend gets a similar good judge. His fact finding is looming and things aren't getting better yet. Ex still not turning up to court, not submitting paperwork on time, making more allegations. She has a team of supporters behind her, social workers, cafcass, the guardian, counsellors, he has no one, its a lonely place to be and the toll on his health is extreme. Your post gives me hope, thank you for sharing it.

So, i got the order through yesterday (as i’m sure she did too)….oh I would’ve paid good money out to have been a fly on the wall when she got home after court last week and again yesterday when she read the order.

I’ve a couple of questions

Q1. Regarding Psychological assessments, am i right in thinking that a psychologist would be able to spot the “alleged” wishes and feelings - that Cafcass reported were (child’s) – were actually imprinted on to (child) by mother?

Q2. Can i ask / how do i ask for her to receive same psychological assessment? As i feel her behaviour this last 9-10yrs and more are a result of childhood trauma she suffered (i have specific info i dare not share for fear of spies reporting back (we all know the family courts do not like cases discussed in public)

Q3. Would the psychological assessment of (child) show (child) that father is not what mother claims and if so what sort of damage could that have on (child) – i thinking about what i will need to get put in place to help (child)

Just a quick note if you’ve read this far…. i try to use “(child)” and other non-specifics to try and make this as anonymous as possible in case she has spies watching and reporting back,
I would hate for my search for answers to help me keep being a part of (child’s) life and future to have any detrimental effect on the case outcome.

Also i fear i've put too much detail in here so may delete this in a little while.

Q1. I would say it's entirely down to the ability of the psychologist, you would hope that a good one, that is well experienced with child alienation and implacable hostility cases would be able to spot the mothers underlying influence.

Q2. That would be difficult, I would wait and see what the psychologist reports, if her influence is picked up then you could ask for her to be assessed, but whether you should go into detail about childhood trauma she may have suffered might not be a good idea.

Q3. Im quite sure that the assessment is carried out with the child's well being at the forefront, I asssume that the psycologist would use play to interpret what a child is feeling and thinking... but I have no experience of how an assessment is conducted to be honest.

As i feel her behaviour this last 9-10yrs and more are a result of childhood trauma she suffered

I do wonder about this, as mine is the same, grew up with an absent father and an abusive/alcoholic mother. I know that courts don't want to hear this, but to me instinctively it feels this is where the solution is.

I do wonder about this, as mine is the same, grew up with an absent father and an abusive/alcoholic mother. I know that courts don't want to hear this, but to me instinctively it feels this is where the solution is.

My thoughts are similar....not growing up with her father around and her mother not getting in proffessional help for her at the time of the traumatic experience....i can't help but think that she then tried to rationalise her behaviour to start with based something along the lines of "i didn't have a father since 10yrs old, so (child) can manage without him as i did" that's how i see her rationalising it to herself.

i think the later prevntion of contact she doesn't rationalise much at all...she got a new fella moved in within a year and married within 2yrs and a baby on the way at time of marriage....
i'm basically a problem for her show life....the new hubby and new kid all same hair colour as our child and her! so anyone looking in from the outside will see a family unit....she'd hate anyone to start asking questions about why (child) gets picked up / dropped off every other weekend and disappears for weeks through the summer....not to mention how would she explain it now after all the false allegations she made....how would she then tell people that (child's) father has (child) when she claimed alll manner of horrible things i was and did to her!
how embarrasing that must be to her lol

Hi DadiD, hope you're good. Definetely don't mention anything that would be seen as you taking digs or bad mouthing the ex. The court seems like it is done making you jump through hoops, a psychologist on paper will know that difference between force fed hatred from the mother and how the child behaves with you in private.

I hope this is all happening soon for you, when this is over hopefully you can draw a line and move forward with fair contact with your children....I didn't see my daughter for a whole year and after all the allegations and false statements lots of points were no further action. The court ordered I see a counsellor and get their report, the counsellor listened to me word for word and wrote a letter to the court saying despite what's happened in the past I just want a solid relationship with my daughter and feel as though this is being denied to me...after the counsellors statement and notes made in the co tact centre I received community contact followed by Friday to Sunday overnights every fortnight and phone conversations...my ex and I don't talk unless it's to do with our daughter and in all honesty I prefer it like this for now. When my daughter starts school, college, uni, driving license etc...I'm sure there will be more civil contact. Time heals all wounds no doubt

Update Oct 2017

Seems there still seems like no end in sight.....what i thought was going to be resolved hasn't and on the face of it appears that the judge has just given the ex yet another chance to promote me and contact but again no real teeth other than stern words said by the judge....i'm fuming...ffs how many more chances does she get!!!

got that feeling of 50/50 again...feel like no progress but at same time i know the judge has worked out what is going on with the ex but has still given her another chance!

review hearing in 3mths to see if any of what was said by the judge has sunk in to her thick head and if any progress towards contact can be made...

if no progress towards any form of contact then a final final hearing (lost count of how many "final" hearings there's been!) at which the judge will make a decision.
decision being.....anywhere from....No contact (he said no direct contact) through to imediate direct contact......

however my worry is that if by some miracle this gets through to her and she does finally get (child) to respond and re-engage in any form of contact...then i fear it'll just be ordered to continue and to "take it at (Childs) pace" again...same weak orders that have been tried throughout the now lengthy case history.
my biggest fear is that is what will happen and will go on to a time when (child) can have a voice in court and with the 7yrs of brain washing stand up and say that they don't want any contact.....then its game over....i've lost my child forever 🙁

no words can describe my frustration at the judge going from givig such stern words towards the ex's obstruction of contact and then saying to see how the next few months progress when theres been zero progress in the last 2.1/2yrs and the last 7