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Hello, A month after my granddaughter was born her mother couldn't cope so my son gave up his Job to look after the baby full time .
Due to the fact the mother was hiding his car keys phone money , and said she was going to slash his tyres. Trough a pint of cold water over him .
So for the last 7 months he has looked after the baby . As her mother went back to work Full time.
His partner has with held money from him . Shouts at him and the baby.
For weeks he has been sleeping down stairs.
Monday he was woken by a bang and the baby crying, he ran upstairs to find the baby on the floor she had fell of the bed . Her mother was in the bathroom and left the baby unintended.
My son said he was talking the baby to doctors to get her checked out.
His partner then started smashing things up the the house.
So he called the police. They told her to go to work. And hour later she turned up said she was going to her mum's she would be back in 2 day's.
She didn't come back . Told him she was going to live with her parents.
They though her out 12 months ago when she was pregnant.
Told him he wasn't seeing the baby unless she have the highchair ( which his sister bought).
And the Jumperoo the I bought 3 weeks ago. I said know way.
She said she has. Nothing for the baby to sit in at her mothers she was having it.
Her mother then rang him and said they need it.
I said I would buy them a new one which I did.
Last night her and her mother came to the house and took all the baby's clothes everything.
I said you have to leave my son some clothes to be told no.
I have bought about 90% of the clothes.
I said look I have got you a new highchair as I don't want you taking the one Luke's sister has bought.
To be told by her mother it's all about the bleeping money will you.
I said look I work 60 hours a week and I work hard they stripped out as much as they could get in the car.
I said to her mum that did she think that to leave my son with no food £10 pound for for 4 day's ok . She she yes she did . I said to take the baby away from her dad who has looked at her for the last 7 months was far . She then kicked off saying she was going to have my son kicked out of the house . Told my mum who is 71 it's okay for her with all her money . She has none . They rang the police who took there side even it was the same police who came on Monday morning . His partner went started smashing stuff in the kitchen and they did nothing they were both laughing.
She said this morning that my son could see the baby for 2 hours today.
Then when he got there her mother said . He couldn't see her.
Then changed her mind and let him she her to 30 minutes.
The housing association has admitted today that they cocked up the tendency as I should have been put in both my son's name and his partner.
But he has no legal right if she gives up the tendency to live there as it's in her name .
I am heartbroken I have been crying most of the day .
She has another child that lives with his dad.
When my mum mentioned it to her mother she went mad going I don't want him brought up in any of this . I think they are hiding something.
I am so lost
Hi there
I think you have to try and put all of this to one side and concentrate on what you can do to improve matters. I understand why you are so upset, but the best medicine for that is to get busy, get organised and get back on track.
Your son can contact Shelter, who should be able to advise him about his housing issues, as it's the housing associations mistake, they should put it right, Shelter will help with this I hope.
As far as his child is concerned, his first step is to go and see a mediator to discuss the issues, the mother will then be invited to attend. If she refuses or mediation fails, the mediator will sign the form to enable your son to make an application to court for a Child Arrangements Order so that
he can spend regular time with his child.
As your son is unemployed he will be entitled to legal aid to pay for mediation and if it gets to court he can ask the court office for form EX160a to claim an exemption from the court fee, so it shouldn't cost him anything to move this forward.
Many dads here go through the court process without a solicitor, it's doable and many have had a lot of success. We will do all we can to advise and support you all through the process. There's lots of information in the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section, which you and your son may find helpful.
All the best
Thank you
I we have spoken to social services today
We are seeing a solicitor Wednesday
I have spoken to shelter
Emailed the local MP about the housing
My son's ex partner has refused mediation
Is there anything else we can do ?
Thank you
Has the ex refused mediation through the mediator or just to your son? The mediator must be given the opportunity to ask her to attend formally, if she refuses he will then sign off the appropriate form.
I think you are doing as much as you can at the moment, your son could try writing to her and ask for a schedule of contact to be agreed and suggest that could best be achieved with mediation. He could explain that it would be to everyone's benefit to try and resolve this informally, but if agreement can't be reached, that he will have no choice but to make an application to the family court for a Child Arrangements Order,stating that this would of course be a last resort....he doesn't want to provoke her any more than need be.
He must be extremely careful not to place himself in a position where he could be accused of any kind of harassment, as she has shown violence towards him, its important to cover himself and I would advise not to go to her mothers home as he wouldn't be able to protect himself from false allegations afterwards. If she can get an injunction against him she would be entitled to legal aid for a solicitor.
I agree with Mojo
You must tell your son to be careful and not leave himself open to allegations of harassment or worse.
If she has refused mediation via the mediator, you will now be able to get the court forms stamped to make an application to court.
As she has another child living with the father, this might be a cause for concern from the court. Did Childrens Services offer any helpful advice?
Good luck, let us know how you get on.
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