[Solved] The "meet half way" issue

Unfortunately, if pick ups aren't specified by a court order she can chop and change. Did she give a reason for changing the existing arrangements?

If she won't agree to keeping it the same, the only way around this is to initiate mediation to try and sort it out. If this fails then the only other option would be to apply for a court order. This would be a shame, as you have managed between yourselves up to now and court proceedings would make working with her even more difficult, as it puts a strain on any relationship.

There's no set formula for travelling arrrangements for contact. Some courts will order that the travelling is shared, some will leave it up to the parents to work it out...and some will make the non resident parent do all the travelling.

All the best

On the day she cited ill health/her car is old/her parents no longer willing to help mediate with drop off.

I collected as one off. Its half term

But considering I have a long term health condition (crohns)
It will be unlikely I will make a 4 hour round trip after work on friday nights.

She can refuse to meet half way

But I can also refuse to drive 4 hours in an evening.

We have had issues previously but half way has been in place since Day 1

She might reconsider but I certainly take a no nonesense approach now after the stress i went through harming my health. So chances of me doing full not half way pickups are 0%

If it was her that moved away, that would help your arguement, your health issue might also be a consideration. Have you put this to her?

The trouble with refusing is that you and your child will be the ones to miss out on your usual time together.

She ended the relationship, moved back to her mothers home.

I did the same due to hospitalisation at time.

Yes she is fully aware of my health.

I would still make half way journey. It will be down to her if she meets up or not.

Solicitor is £100 hour court order £250 odd so I want to avoid that. Unless she can get a court order to make me drive full distance?

No she can't force you to drive for contact. I hope you can find some common ground.

If she stops contact, or refuses to travel and you refuse to do the whole trip, it would be something that the court would decide on if an application to court was made... and as I said before, there's no way of knowing what the court might order...you would have the chance to put your case forward for why it should be shared.

She has never denied access so far.

I was under the impression, certainly from her that I have to meet every 2 weeks by law?

But we dont have anything in writing

So in affect I cannot be forced full distance and really I could see my daughter when im able to then by the sounds.

So essentially I am the only one that can take out a court order?

I could offer once every 3 weeks full distance rather than 2 half way.

Without court ordered contact she can do what she likes as far as contact is concerned.... stopping and starting it, or changing it. Even with a court order you can't be forced to have contact with your child if you don't want it, the wording on the order would be that she makes a child available on such and such a day. However if you didn't pick her up at a day/time as stipulated in an order she would be within her rights to apply back to the court to have the order varied and contact reduced, her agument being the distress caused to the child because of being let down.

There's no law that say fortnightly contact is mandatory. It's up to parents to negotiate a schedule that suits them.

Certainly a tricky one.

Thanks for info, time will tell.

I have to take my daughter back tomorrow, and ex partners parents are supposed to be meeting half way
will see how events unfold. If they do not turn up at the public meeting place , then I am not sure what to do
I could wait there until someone turns up I guess. When relatives do the exchange it is easier

Well at least you know a little more about your position, I hope the ex's parents turn up and the handover goes smoothly.

All the best

Travel is always a grey area although it's much more common now for the courts to push for shared travel

One thing to mention though - if you did go to court - some courts won't order fortnightly contact with a long distance due to the child becoming potentially tired.

I would try to seek an agreement with the mother if you can. If that doesn't work, you can try mediation - this is mandatory before making a court applicaiton anyway. Given the distance, you could be exempt from mediation unless you can find a provider that does it via video call.

It doesn't have to cost a fortune to go to court - you can do this alone, many of our dads do exactly that and the courts are used to dealing with parents self repping.

Good luck