[Solved] Terminate my role as Father

I'm a little confused...only a couple of days ago you were asking for advice on adding your wife as a party to proceedings and you mentioned that contact was going well.

I think that once a child s adopted then all rights and responsibilities are transferred to the adoptive father. I would get some legal advice on this though.

I can ask Coram to come along and give you some advice, but it might take them a few days to get back to you.

why the sudden change ?

the journey can be a rollercoaster and their are points you may think it's not worth it so stressful etc but they are moments and pass and by signing your rights away it's a permanent thing , from your post 2 days ago looked like you were wanting to progress contact and add your wife so moving things forward

it's ok to have moments when you feel despair especially if you are trying to establish a relationship and your son has a negative influences from your ex, my math might be off but he would be 5 ? still very young but by you continuing to be their for him as he gets older your will form a strong bond

maybe ask if you could have phone calls by way of contact as well to help build your relationship ,

obviously you know your own mind but I wanted to let you know we all go through parts were it feels easier to walk away but please think of the future when you son is older and see's you have raised his brothers .... 🙁

you must be feeling very emotionally drained at the moment give you self some time and space

I know it must seem a sudden change, but tbh it's been coming a long time. I have had this feeling from the start, I guess part of me never really wanted to know him but felt a duty to do so.
Upon having contact things are proceeding and I was going to ask for continued contact, but I truly feel this is prolonging the I nevitable.
I never met the boy till a year ago, I have no bond at all with him and frankly don't want to.

So I need to On my way! how to remove my pr towards him and if possible allow them to adopt the child.

Thanks for all the help

I don't think you can remove PR alone but once the adoption process has been completed and signed then you revoke all responsibilities etc.

It's not a formality and just because all three of you may be in agreement about the adoption the court may still decide its not in the child's best interests.

I seem to remember reading that PR has only been revoked on two occasions since the 90s and that wasn't at the request of the father but an action taken by the court to protect the children.

I think your first step would be to discuss this with the mother and step father, but once that conversation is initiated there's no going back....I urge you to think very, very carefully before taking that step.

If you are adamant then it would be advisable to discuss this with a legal advisor.

I think NJ is spot on......once you start this process there is no going back.

Only you know what you want to do in the long term - but think hard, think long, because if you walk away, you abandon your child.

I will be honest with you, I have thought of walking away because of the sheer difficulty and emotional stress of the whole court process. But that's my own selfish thoughts and feelings, and I find the strength to keep trucking for my son. I will never give up on the little lad, but that's just me.

Maybe there will come a time later in life when you regret walking away. Maybe your son will want answers as to why his dad walked away.

You have to consider can you deal with that in the future? Or can you find the strength now to keep in your son's life, despite the heartache?

It's really pick your poison, but I know what I would do. Regret would kill me, because I could never get that lost time back with my boy.

The step dad is not your kids real dad, you are. Remember that bro....you are his one and only dad 🙂

People will put bullshit in the way and try to complicate matters - but strip it all away and all is left is you and your kid 🙂

Simon.

This is a complete turn around from the other day and no matter what you say this does seem like a knee [censored] reaction mate, this whole process is frustrating and everyone considers just walking away at some stage.

DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOUR SON! He deserves you in his life, I know what it feels like to have your Father give up on you and walk out your life and it's not pretty believe me.

It took me 30 years to get over my Dad disowning me from a young age I used to shut down I wouldn't walk talk or do anything, that lead to migraines sever head aches through my teens then panic attacks and anger attacks until I was 30.

You never full get over that sense of rejection believe me! It screwed up most of my relationships I was so full of anger all my life do not put your son through that!

Imagine what your son is going to think knowing you gave up on him no child deserves that, My ex has poisoned my Step daughter against me saying I am going to beat her up when I see her it's sickening but I'm sticking in there no matter what as I know I could not live with myself if I walked out on her and my own Daughter.

If you go ahead and do what you are doing you will defo regret it and once it's done there is no going back and you've played into the hands of your EX and the system beautifully dishonouring what most of the dads are trying to do on this site.

Heya - I am not here to judge but it is apparent emotions are running high.

What might be a way forward is taking a break from it all - make the dust settle.

With regards to finances, I am not sure you can get away from CSA. As the biological parent I believe you will have a duty - but I would recommend you check this out.

What you might find is the less hard you try the easier it may become - see how it goes. There is the risk of alienation, but perhaps taking that step back for the timing might help.

Best of luck - stay strong, people on the site are behind you mate!

What I would suggest, as an absolute minimum, is that you send birthday and xmas cards and a small present, because I think that 10 years down the line, you might have regrets of what might have been.