Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I have booked a week away, from Friday to Friday, at a caravan site which is a 2 hour drive from where we live. There is a court order in place which says I can see my children every other weekend and Tuesday’s and Thursday’s after school or all day during the holidays. My children are staying with me, my fiancée and her daughter from the first Friday of the holiday until the Sunday. My ex is saying the children won’t cope with 7 nights away from her and that I can only take them away from the Monday to the Friday. As a result I’m having to drive my children back on the Sunday and pick them up again on the Monday.
The children were supposed to be staying with us this weekend but my ex told me she was taking them away for a week from today (Saturday). Initially I said okay but I’ll pick them up from school as planned on the Friday and she could pick them up the following day. My ex told me I wouldn’t be able to see them on the Friday either. I reluctantly agreed as I didn’t want the children to caught in the middle.
Towards the end of the court order it says ‘However, this does not prevent the removal of the children, for a period of less than 1 month, by a person named in the Child Arrangements Order as a person with whom the children shall live (Sections 13(1), (2) and (4) Children Act 1989).
It may be a criminal offence under the Child Abduction Act 1984 to remove the child from the United Kingdom without the leave of the court.’
Does that mean I can take my children away for up to 1 month as long as it’s in the UK?
If not, is there anything I can do to enable me to take my children away for 7 nights bearing in mind we’re going in 4 weeks?
If it’s too late to do anything this year, what is the easiest way to sort something out for next year?
hi nicholas,
when you wrote court order says you can see kids all day during holidays, is it more specific than that? length of holidays?
the stuff you mentioned about taking kids away 1 month. all that only applies to the person that lives with the kids, e.g. if order says kids live with mother. even if you did take kids in uk for 1 month, you will be seen to be breaking order rules, of the time you take them, clashes with the ex's times.
i would recommend you make court application, specific issues order. you can make it a urgent hearing. but i have heard cases where judge will only consider if its very urgent, like going in holiday in 1-2 weeks. others on here may be better informed to advise you.
my order says i am allowed to take kids abroad for 1 week at a time, for maximum of 2 weeks in summer, and ex must hand over passports. not sure whats in your order, but it should be very defined. if you dont have something in place like this, get your order changed to have this.
Thanks for your reply Bill, my court order just says all day and overnight Tuesday’s and Thursday’s during the holidays it doesn’t say what time or anything. The children don’t stay overnight though because she made such a fuss. It doesn’t say anything about taking the children away either. Think I’m just going to bring the children back for the night this year and not make any fuss which I think is what she wants. She likes to be in control.
I’ll e-mail her when the children go back to school and suggest mediation then apply to the court for next summer and possibly Easter.
Do you know if I’ll have to go through mediation and then appear in court again?
hi Nicholas,
its my understanding that if you want to change/vary an order then you have to go through mediation first.
but as you mentioned, your order says kids can have overnight stays with you, but your ex is not allowing it. thats a clear breach. you can enforce your order using form C79 and no mediation needed. I have read other cases, where dads went to enforce the order, and judges end up making changes to the order. so in that sense, you can aim to have a more structured holiday plan for future written up, including trips abroad, passport issues etc.
check out https://www.gov.uk/looking-after-children-divorce/change-or-enforce-an-order
Hi there
Have you had your children overnight at all yet? Have they expressed the wish to go on holiday with you?
Did the children’s mother agree to them going with you on holiday, before you booked it? If she had agreed initially, but has now backtracked, I would say that you have a good enough reason to make an urgent Specific Issue Order.
Perhaps you could try mediation to get her to agree.
Best of luck
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.