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Hi
Hope everyone is well. Have worked myself up into a sweat about this and could do with some advice or experiences. I am lucky enough to be the main carer for my child, he is with me for two weeks then spends a weekend with his mother. We share the school holidays 50/50. We have an agreement, which has been signed and witnessed and lodged with a solicitor outlying our custody arrangements but we have yet to divorce. She keeps the child benefit and pays @£45/month towards after school activities and school uniform but nothing else.
I earn £15k more than her but am struggling financially due to her leaving me with the majority of debt that was accumulated during our marriage. I have looked on the CSA website and calculated that, should I take her to the CSA she would be paying £45/week.
However I am loath to do this because I have been told that she could simply take custody of the child and I would have to go through the courts to regain custody (she lives over 150 miles away). She is unwilling to discuss any changes to support arrangements.
Does anyone have any experiences or advice they could offer? Any help would be gratefully received.
Hi Kabe,
How long has your child lived with you as the main carer? It's important because the longer this has been the case,the better your chances of getting a residence order. I'm not sure how legally binding your signed/witnessed agreement is but it is proof that she has agreed that the child stay with you.
I think it is wrong that she should keep the child benefit, she hasn't got care of the child! That is for the parent with care to help towards the cost of a child. I also don't think it's fair that she pays less than she is liable for. If you were in receipt of the child benefit you would also be entitled to working tax credits and possible council tax benefits.
You might like to think about trying mediation. This is the accepted first step before applying to court, if she refuses then I would say go to court for a residence order, don't wait for her to do this. As you already have your child living with you then I think you stand a good chance of success.
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