[Solved] Supervised Contact

Hello bombhead23,

Some Ex's employ this deplorable tactic to get what they want. Without a Court Order for contact with the children they can and do just what they like.
This being the case I would apply to the court for a Court Order for access to your children which is legally binding. It is mandatory before applying to attempt mediation, I personally would do this as soon as possible as you and the children do not want to suffer delay in contact. If she does not attend or the matters disputed are not resolved you then start court proceedings to get access.

You can ask a solicitor to act for you or you can represent yourself. There is a wealth of information and people who will help you on this site.

The fact you have had them for regular overnight stays, I am sure will stand you in good stead in court this is why you do not want a delay in re-establishing the overnight contact you have always had as soon as possible. If there is too much of a delay in having the same level of contact resumed there may be a possibility (I'm not sure whether I am correct in saying this) a court may start you off with a reduced amount of contact and then increase it over a period of a number of weeks.

Please seek legal advice, many solicitors offer a 30 minute free consultation.

I will add, please stay calm and do not enter into arguments with your Ex or send any texts, emails where the content can be used against you. You do not want to be served with a Non Molestation Order which would complicate matters greatly or jeopardize seeing the children particularly as your situation at present sounds fairly straightforward.

Hi there

As has been said this is more common than you would think and without any kind of court order for contact in place she can call the shots unfortunately.

How has contact been going more generally? Has there been a particular incident that has sparked this off? Court is of course an option, but it should always be the last resort, as it puts untold strain on all parties involved.
Mediation is indeed the first step before a court application can be made and it is hoped that this will be enough to get some discussion generated and agreements reached. Whilst any agreements made during mediation are not legally binding, it can set parents back on the right path. Here's a link to the mediation service

www.nfm.org.uk

If mediation fails or she refuses to attend and the situation continues to deteriorate, you have the option of court.... There's plenty of information about the court process in the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section which you may find useful and if you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask.

All the best

There has been no reason for her to say this other than out of spite. In the 15 months that we have been separated I have paid the maintenance on time as agreed and there is no history of violence, neglect etc towards either her or our kids. This is purely a divorce turned ugly and she's out to hurt me by using the kids. The kids are perfectly happy in my care and enjoy spending time with me. I don't believe that you could just decide on supervised contact without any valid reason whatsoever. She was even happy for me to take the kids on holiday with my partner for a week last month.

I must add that I still have overnight contact with the kids

...it's so wrong to use children as a weapon. If there is absolutely no reason for her decision to demand supervised contact, apart from bitterness then mediation is your first port of call. There are costs attached to this, but the mediator will discuss this with you.

As has been said, it's better to,get things moving sooner rather than later, as the less effect it has on your children the better.

You could try writing to her and outlining that it is not in the childrens best interests to change contact in this way, that it is the childrens right to have a full and loving relationship with both parents and any disagreements or illfeeling between you both shouldn't be visited on the children. Tell her you've taken advice and if she continues to make contact difficult you will have no alternative but to seek mediation, which if it fails would ultimately lead to a court application. Point out that this would put undue strain on all of you and is something that you wish to avoid if possible.

Best of luck