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I was in a relationship with my wife and she controlled me, to explain the issues
I worked 5-6 days per week with overtime, I woke up 6am, fed my son and brushed his teeth and so on whilst she got her lazy [censored] up later at 10 every day
Sure sent him to nursery when she felt like it
Refused to ever work as she wanted to be a trophy wife
Spent money on my credit card and I worked like an idiot
Things went bad to worse around April and May where she demanded holidays, I knew the marriage was over but was thinking what to do as I knew her temper and loved my son, she threatened a number of times to take my son away as she can say what she wants if I did not send her on holiday
So she went to Spain twice
Her habits were checking my phone for an hour
Deciding no family contact is best for our son (I secretly kept him in touch with his grand parents etc )
Through my phone she would send messages to her own family saying I don’t want them to visit, she refused to even open the door when they travelled an hour away several times
As god as my witness I never once swore or hit her, she humiliated me in front of her friends, one day when she wanted another holiday, I had enough and said we have to talk about our marriage, I told her I think it would be best if she started talking to her family and we may split up
She agreed....this surprised me
I called her father, now we come from an Islamic family so the issues get tougher, her dad came and they went to his house, spent a good few days together
At his house obviously my wife told a pack of lies to him but he knew his daughter and saw through it
She told him she now wants a divorce, he agreed and said if that’s what she wants, he is happy to help her with a flat and they can both be near family, he also told her dad she doesn’t want me to see our son now, her dad explained to the the importance of raising a child properly, she also told him she will get me arrested
Her dad found out she had been sending herself fake messages from my phone, she also went into my email and forged a fake suicide email, she explained she sent what’s app messages to my family saying it’s herself from my phone and that I am going to kill myself and my son
My family never believed it as she doesn’t know they spoke to me about this and I clarified with them it was her acting up and I am separating anyway from her
When she left her dads house, she said to give her one week as she realised how she behaved was wrong, her dad told her what she is doing is wrong with the fake suicide emails and the lies as he cannot stand lies. He said to her you can split up but I must be allowed to see take child twice per week
So my wife came home
Two days later
Leaves with police assistance, saying I have mental health issues as I wrote a suicide email
Ever since then
My wife has refused to allow me to see or talk to my son, he is 4 years old with difficulties
I can’t even hear his voice, she taunts me by phoning on witheld numbers demanding money to speak to him, I won’t pay £1000 just to hear his voice !!!!
30th June I raise a case at oxford and 30th July she doesn’t show. Judges still treat me like a criminal. Instead the transfer it
She doesn’t show and the cause is urgently transferred to London, turns out she has legal aid
Claiming I used to push her, financial abuse her by keepin her locked up despite her running rampant on my cards and holidays
Saying I and her father were refusing to divorce
(Yes she hates her father now and all of her own family for not siding with her )
She’s ended contact with all of her family, my son now has no family or friends . Everyone in her family and my family are her enemy according to her
She’s told me she will take up more allegations of being beaten, sexual abuse and so on as a punishment to me
London court take an age to list the case
First hearing is set for 28th November
5 months I cannot see my son as the judge did nothing on 30th June
I am broken, truly broken
She’s just lied about everything
We were married in 2011 and she left in 2013 once as we were not getting on
She got back in touch 8 months later saying She was pregnant and wants me to buy a house and she will come back etc
I did it for my son, now she’s lied out of her wits that I asked her to come back in 2013 also that her father forced her. I have statements from the hostel that when she left in 2013 her father told her not too and so did they but she left out of her will
I have emails of her sending it to her brother asking her fathers address as she’s decided to go live with him as she’s made a mistake
I have screenshots of my brothers phone of the suicide episode where 2 minutes after the email is sent to her, she messages from my phone saying it’s her and talks about the email she got, pasting the email
It’s obvious she wrote it on my phone and sent it to herself and then messaged my family a few minutes later saying
Hi this is (name) I am on his phone but (name left this suicide email
All she’s done is made a pack of lies saying I should have no contact with my son as I am a suicide risk
I reported her to the police, they know it’s fake as if I am killing my self and our son why not call the police and then the screenshots are gold dust
But 5 months before the first hearing
This is not right
I’ve wrote to mps and complained about the delays
I’m changing solicitors to a local one in London to save money
But I am stuck, in heart broken, she taunts me saying my son thinks I am dead and has forgotten me
What can I do ?
As god as my witness I have been the most loyal and well behaved husband you will see but this witch has destroyed me
I’ve missed the start of my sons school and he is somewhere random in London. All his family and friends gone
If he stays with her, he will never ever get to see his family again, honestly she talks to nobody in her own and my family as she is demented. She has cut off all of her friends too and decided my son doesn’t need friends either
I’m applying for full custody as I want my son to grow up knowing all of his grandparents and so on
My wife has said she will make allegations against my parents and her own to get her way
She’s threatened so much unless I drop the case but does it in a way she does not get caught
But now I have to wait 5 months and hoping the judge orders a contact centre visit
I’ve never broken the law
Never ever had any medical issues
She’s forged and made it all up and is now sitting With my son for 5 months whilst he thinks his daddy has abandoned him
Before she left, she even deleted all my photos and videos of him
I know she’s made more messages to use later from my phone on court
I have statements from family, hostels and the screenshots as evidence she’s a liar
But she’s will lie a lot
What do I do
hi,
sorry to hear of all this. such a nasty person. please stay strong and hang in there. wait few more months for this case. please speak to your solicitor and gather as much evidence as you can, especially about fake suicide messages, that police know are nonsense. if shes still phoning you with withheld numbers, try your best to ignore. or you could make recordings of them and use as evidence. consider buying another sim card.
I am tempted to buy a Bluetooth recorder
She phoned today again pretty much laughing at the fact it’s been delayed for 3 months
Saying if I don’t give her £1000 for a holiday that I won’t see my son on 2019. She won’t be going to any contact centre if it’s ordered. I told her she’s not fit to be a mother and hanged up
I can’t have my son raised growing up with no family around him under this person
It looks like I have to wait, my evidence is ready, translations of emails contradicting herself, on the same day she said she wants to back to her dads and asks for her brothers address
On the same day hours later she emails from her solicitor saying I’ve asked family to threaten her
My reply was take the evidence to the police bit the emails are clear of her demented mental state
The suicide screenshots I have of her using my phone at the same time the email was sent and her posting the same message via what’s app 3
Minutes after her receiving it from my phone should be good enough
But I fear the court will think I’m a dodgy person if I record her
Would it go against me ? She also told me she went to Greece for two weeks from the money she took from my account via my mobile despite an order being in place not to go overseas
I will use that against her as she was bragging but [censored] these family courts are a joke !!!
I’m at my wits end, I can believe I won’t see my son for 5 months minimum
Would you be able to have full custody ? If she’s got mental health issues and you don’t think she can look after the children properly go to court and apply . Prove to the court she’s not fit . Also get an order in place now stopping her from contacting you unless child related only and not to blackmail you . Call the police and tell them
She’s harassing you . You just want them to warn her in the 1st instance and if it happens again you will press charges
Also as domestic abuse isn’t just physical see if you can apply for legal aid
She never went to a doctor is the issue but once she burned herself as a point to me but we put it down as an accident
But proof I have is
Making suicide emails up
Going into my social media and sending herself messages. She made my account and I never thought to change it. The suicide part is rock solid
She phoned me around 20 times prior to the first hearing despite alleging so much [censored] to see if I would come down to meet her, I knew this was a trap
She won’t let our son ever see any family again, surely this is not good for the child and the life I want to give him is with a full family
We have been blocked since 30th July but she keeps calling on withheld numbers trying to rile me up
I went to court on .30th June but all they said due to police involved they want a cafcass report
She didn’t do anything as required on 30th July the hearings was adjourned as she’s claimed I pushed her and mentally abused her with the suicide email. Her legal aid solic got it transferred and the judge again said I had to wait
Then it took until 17th sept for the first hearing to be listed for end of November....
My salary is too high for legal aid around 40k ish in total I would say. I thought about giving up my job but left it
Now it will be 5 months in tota once the first hearing begins
This is just a joke
You can’t raise a child with no family at all because you deem it so when nobody has done anything
She said she will make allegations about every single family member in both sides and so on
A blue tooth recorder is 80 quid , I’m tmeped to get it but read judges don’t like people being recorded
I can’t understand how poor the court systems are, how can they make someone wait this long
hi,
what is your ex's situation? is she working? does she have a stash of savings in her account? just because someone is getting legal aid, don't assume that she is really entitled to it. my ex got legal aid, despite thousands quietly sitting in her account. i got her busted and legal aid revoked :p
that bluetooth thing is expensive. dont bother. just use a recording app on your phone, or 2nd phone. you can ask your lawyer is worth the hassle of recording and can it be used as evidence.
She’s never worked
Refused always, just went on shopping trips on my card and holidays
Now is claiming I kept her from working and trapped...i can’t wait to see the judges reaction to someone trapped going on fancy holidays
I made her cv, applied jobs for her but she said she didn’t get married to have to work
I got a new solic today who told me a few dirty tricks
My ex was rubbing in the fact she went to Greece despite a travel ban, he said record her as you have a no contact ban but she will admit breaching that herself once we discuss the Greece situation in court and her breaching the no travel outside of the country order
It’s so frustrating the hearing is so long
Will be 5-6 months before I see my son when I have done nothing
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