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Merry Christmas to all; I hope you are all well. I was hoping I could pick your brains because i'm struggling with something that should have been dealt with a long time ago now.....and is still ongoing.
I'll paint the picture......I filed for enforcement of a CAO earlier this year (the 3rd in as many years) providing all the proof the court asked for. This time my daughter was not made available for contact through half term and in addition, I decided to claim for lost deposit of a holiday we had to cancel after the mother and stepfather filled my daughter's head with nonsense that Dubai is a war-harbouring country so scared her into not wanting to go.
As with the other two enforcements (which she got away with; how? i dont know because proof was clear on those occasions also), it seems that she is likely to get away with this one also. The added complication is that since filing the enforcement the court asked me to file for a Variation of the CAO (because I had made suggestions to simplify the order, as the mother can't seem to understand and stick to it). I filed this and what should have been a case that should have lasted no longer than a couple of months, has now been ongoing for 10 months and, my daughter has now had a CAFCASS Section 7 limited to wishes and feelings carried out plus, has now had a guardian appointed by the court.
The wishes and feelings all seems a bit odd; I made the court and CAFCASS aware of the conditioning my daughter has received over the years from her mother however it doesnt seem any of this has been taken into account. Does a child aged 10 really take the time out of their day to sit and think that they would like to spend 2 weeks out of 6 with their father for the summer holidays? Apparently so and CAFCASS say she feels very strongly about it though her mother has been trying to reduce our half term and summer contact just so it makes a difference to her monthly CMS pay packet.
Additional evidence I have supplied the court with such as facebook slandering posts and the fact that we are kept away from being part of my daughter's extra curricular activities have not been taken into account; not even sure they have been read!
So in summary, the guardian was appointed at the last hearing and we are now waiting for the next hearing. I'm not too sure what is going to happen or what to expect; when I filed for enforcement I certainly did not expect another legal battle. Our Christmas has been ripped apart because the mother has made sure that our daughter has as many plans as possible on the days we have her and, because we cant be part of these plans its constant handovers.
If anyone has any advice I would really appreciate it because i'm lost as to where to turn.
Many Thanks in advance.
I feel for you bluesky10, I can't offer much advice apart from: stick at it, your daughter will be a better person for it.
I think meddling in contact arrangements is common where mothers become the resident parent (the vast majority of cases). I could see the same happening 6 years ago and so stuck out for a SRO (the process of achieving it took me to my emotional limits and cost a fortune - such is the ingrained bias against fathers in our society). 6 years on it was worth it: my boy is now 14 and growing up to be a fine young man, his mother's influence is diminishing as he matures and I will suspect will taper off to nothing by the time he is 16.
If it had not been for the SRO I suspect I'd have hardly ever seen my son again: he would have always been unavailable for some reason or another. This happens it lots of cases and often men give up after a while and just move on - misandry in our society seems to be perfectly acceptable.
I know it isn't fair (everyone seems to know that), but that does not help you much, so just stick at it, never give up and your daughter will grow up a better person for your efforts.
Best wishes for the new year.
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