[Solved] Stopped access to children

Hi there

It sounds like you have reached a stalemate, contact with your children shouldn't be dependent on what is best for her working schedule! I think you would have a good case to ask for full for ightly weekends and weekly mid week contact...this is the most popular schedule that the courts use when making orders, although not set in stone. It would also be reasonable to have shared holidays and alternate christmas and birthdays...and fathers day!

Your first step would be mediation, this is now a requirement before a court application can be made ( unless you live in Scotland). Here's a link to the mediation service

www.nfm.org.uk

You would first go along and discuss the issues with the mediator and they would then contact your ex and ask her to attend, if she refuses or mediation fails, the mediator will sign off the C100 form to enable you to make an application to court for a Child Arrangements Order.

There's lots of information about the whole process in the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section which you may find useful.

Any questions, please don't hesitate to ask....oh and welcome to the forum!

Just to mention I've deleted your duplicate post, it's better to keep it to one thread otherwise people's responses get a bit fragmented.

Thanks for your reply. I have sought mediation previously and she declined . When I approached mediation they completed the form immediately as it was deemed urgent and that it was proved she was not going to be a willing recipient of mediation. Plus they could see I had been trying to mediate on my own for the best interests of the children.

Hi There,
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I agree that you shouldn't have too much of an issue getting every other weekend, but I'm not sure how the judge will view her working avery 3rd weekend as that will throw everything out, If you can come up with something that will work so that the week after your ex works maybe you split the weekend somehow.
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I think if you can come up with something before you go to court that would be suitable then you would stand a better chance of getting the every other weekend.
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GTTS

If she won't mediate and the form was signed within the last 4 months you can apply to court.

I've often been involved with cases where a fortnightly pattern cannot be agreed. Perhaps you could look at it over a 3 or 6 weekly schedule to put forward as a proposal to court if you are intending to apply.

Obviously you have asked for one night midweek and am assuming this would be a weekly request.

So for weekends, you could be looking at

Week 1 - With Mum

Week 2- With Dad

Week 3 - split between the parents

Then repeat.

The only problem the court might see with that offer is that, unless the mother could agree to work on the weekend you split between you, the children wouldn't have a full weekend with her for 'quality' time.

Perhaps you could propose that if she were to work on the weekend you split, you could have them Saturday before she starts work until Sunday when she finishes?

Try and think outside the box if you're going to go to court. A court will want to see the children spending quality time with both parents on weekends.

Good luck

thanks for your advise. its been really difficult to work out a plan that would work for all. my main worry is that I currently have no contact with my girls for another five to six weeks which is why I was desperate to get court proceedings moving forward to get some structure and results for my children.
The idea of a three or six week rotation works to cover her shift which is her only concern, but I have remarried and have three step children who again are here every other week. The bond is huge between the girls (yes six women in my household) and already distress has occurred with my one step daughter has her and my children are so close and she realises she cannot see them (the impact is further reaching than my ex realises). That rota pattern means the girls would go potentially a month between weekend visits. over time the impact would be huge. Its such a difficult issue and it boils down to the inflexibility of my ex with her rota which she could get family friendly compensations which would change the whole situation but she seems unwilling to do this for the best of us all. I have changed jobs twice now to ensure the regularity of contact only for it to be scuppered constantly.

If she works every third weekend wouldnt this work?

Week 1 with Dad
Week 2 with Mum
Week3 with Dad
Week 4 with Mum

It's still appropriate to have a weekly midweek visit as well.

Could the step childrens rota be varied?

Mojo, I think if she works every third weekend, she would be working on week 6 on your rota, which would be her turn to have the girls :/

Arghhh...you're right!

Week 1. Dads weekend. Dad wednesday
Week 2. Mums weekend. Dad Wednesday
Week 3. Dads weekend. Dad Wednesday
Week 4. Mums weekend. Dads Wednesday

Week 5. Dad Wednesday and Thursday night...giving mum a full weekend
Week 6. Dads weekend. Dad Wednesday.
Week 7. Mums weekend. Dad Wednesday
Week 8. Dads Wednesday & Thursday night...Mum full weekend.

Mum has 3 weekends in this 4 weeks

Week 9. Dad s weekend. Dad Wednesday
Week 10. Mums weekend. Dad Wednesday
Week 11. Dads Wednesday & Thursday night...Mum full weekend
Week 12. Dads weekend. Dad Wednesday.

Dad has 2 full weekends. Mum has two full weekends

Week 13 mums weekend
Week14. Dad Wednesday & Thursday night.
Week 15. Dads weekend. Dad Wednesday
Week 16. Mums weekend. dad Wednesday.

So effectively, the weekend before her work weekend you have them on Wednesday and Thursday nights, thus giving her a full weekend, whilst still maintaining your contact. Would that work?