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Please can I anyone give me some advice
a few years ago my brother in law found out he was a dad weeks after the baby was born wasnt in a relationship with this girl. He has always had contact every weekend and when the child got older had the child stop over night at weekends and has paid cash csa because this is how she wanted it, everything has always been on her terms, she has also refused to put his name on the birth certificate and now he wants to do things properly and have his name on the birth certificate and pay through csa, since he has suggested this she has got angry and stopped all contact and said if he wants to see his child he will have to go to court can she do this!!!. We are so upset and frustrated and dont know what to do?? Any suggestion would be greatly appreciated.
Honestly i wouldn't go down the CSA route if you can aavoid it......with your bro-in-law paying in cash unless he has it signed for by her he could be up [censored] creek if she tells the CSA he not been paying......they will take her word over his unless he has proper proof....and he could end up paying back pay right to the day he left.....if he can prove it then he'll still have a fight with the CSA for them to accept it.
they are not an agency i want to deal with.....a mate of mine ended up going down that route and his mrs told the CSA he's never paid her a penny.......he actually used to py her £60/week for 2 kids cash in hand cos she was on benefits.
he now pays over £600/mth he only takes home approx. £1400/mth and no matter how much he protested he'd paid his ex he could prove it and she wouldn't admit that he had.
how about suggesting he pays it direct to her back and have the transaction recorded as Maintenance....he will then have proof!
the unfairness about the situation he faces is quite disgusting but currently allowed......if he doesn't do as she says she can and will make it difficult to see his kids......its a was for her to control him!
until he has a court order in place for contact then basically she can do what the [censored] she wants and no one gonna stop her......so he needs to be smart and start working out how best to keep contact going on.
If he has no other option then he needs to act fast and apply for a contact order to stop her from keeping the kids away....however if you read some of the fathers stories on here about contact this can take months and several years to get in some cases.
before he can apply for a contact order he nees to show that he's tried mediation....if not the courts will suggest that and that will add more delays.
there is a lot more info in the legal section about these sort of things.....
Thank you for your advice would the csa still back date even tho his name is not on the birth certificate?
To the best of my knowledge, the CSA only backdate to the day they open the case - either by your brother-in-law or his child's mother.
I have read somewhere online not to sure if it tru, but the CSA can only backdate once the father has been notified...
if the CSA has sent a letter out to the father, but the father has not received it then it is up to the father to prove he did not received the letter.
am kind of in the same situation, ex has been gone since nov, but i have had nothing from the csa, and i cannot contact my ex to sort out an agreement with her.
am not to sure what to do in this instant any help would be nice.
Long time since I did contract law, but as I recall, when you send something by post, the act of posting it is considered as delivery - it may never arrive but that is irrelevant.. I'm guessing that the CSA operate under the same type of legal framework, though they do seem to have more than their fair share of lost letters from the number of people on here who say they've never received anything originally form the CSA.
In your case, you should be able to contact the CSA and ask them to take the case, either parent can do this. Otherwise, open an account and put away the amount of maintenance each month that you would have to pay - that way if they come after you for arrears, you have the money there.
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