[Solved] Staying contact?

In my court order overnights start just after my child turns 2. In terms of what I think, I think children want both parents and I don't see a problem with overnights with either parent from an early age.

Having mom and dad not speak to each other is in my opinion much more harmful to the child than staying away from mom for a day or two. You may also want to read about attachment theory, https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_theory .

My children were 14 months old - twins. Started at two nights a week - Monday and Thursday then when the final order was made seven months later I got Tuesday to Friday each week.

This was after the mother running off with them at four months old and me not seeing them until they were 10 months old. Contact started in a centre then and progressed to unsupervised by the time they were 12 months old.

Anything is possible if you can show that you can cope with young children.

There is no communication to speak of between the ex and I - just a contact book which she uses to give orders. The lack of communication is harmful but when one party will not come to the table there is no choice. The children have two lives which are very separate.

For my part, I know the relationship I have with them is solid and I know when they are with me they are "free" individuals. None of this would be possible if mum and I were together, she is controlling and neurotic.

In my opinion the sooner a child is having regular contact and overnights and the more regular it becomes then the easier it is for the child to see it as normal and how things are.

This is something i have strongly believed since i split with my ex back in 2009 but she has fought every step of the way and tried to justify herself by saying that our child should choose if they want to see me or not and it not be forced on (child).
My ex always said at handovers (i hate that word) to child….”you don’t have to go with daddy if you don’t want to” “daddy won’t be angry at you and will understand”…I’m sorry but a child over 2,1/2ys old (when this started) being allowed to choose to go see daddy or not is just plain wrong!

The problem is that once this allowed by courts by using expectation statements in orders like “and other contact including overnights as can be agreed between the parties” then it just will not work out until the ex agrees.

In my opinion the sooner the child is seeing you regularly the better and they see this as normal. (whatever normal is)

I agree, and the courts will also agree that at so young an age, they can be easily influenced, and should not be making these decisions on their own.