Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi everyone I’m new here.
I’m starting court proceedings for my 5 year old as her mum is a heavy alcohol and drugs user and is refusing to hand him over to me more than the 2 nights a week I already have her. I had her full time last year for 2 months until mum decided after a week of being “sober” she took her back and wouldn’t hand her back over only my 2 nights. Mediation was a complete fail. She is refusing to do the breathalyser and the police have been called due to her assaulting me and entering my house to take my daughter.
She is very manipulative and I am so worried about her stopping me seeing my child once she receives the papers. Can I put in a prohibited steps order to stop this during the court process?
Any other tips to help would be appreciated, social services aren’t doing much and I’ve had lots of legal advice but have decided to represent myself, my partner is a teacher so is very good with paperwork etc and we feel we can manage this alone as we know she will contest everything and probably not stick to any orders so if we were to go via solicitor I’ve been advised that it will rack up to over 6K!
Mum has been sacked from iob due to drinking, lost her home (does have a new one now) and hasn’t seen her alcohol drugs worker for nearly 6 weeks.
Please help I don’t want to not see her for 3 months it would kill me
I would persist with childrens services, as I can't see that they can ignore this. I would also suggest that you consider using a MacKenzies Friend, it will be much cheaper than a solicitor and will give you support through the process. Unfortunately, if you don't have a court order at present, you can't actually stop her from preventing you from seeing your daughter, but I would say that you want this settled quickly. Hopefully others on here with better knowledge of the current system will advise, but from what you have said, I would say that your daughter should be residing with you, and not the mother.
As city dad said, push on with social services, they cannot just ignore your concerns.
If you have applied for child arrangement orders and you raise concerns about your ex using drugs etc. They will clearly see this as an issue and you should request she undertakes regular drug tests before seeing your child. By the sounds of it, it will be your ex who will have to prove they are fit enough to look after your kid.
Thanks. I’ll be honest social services have been terrible. The school put a referal into them as mum threatened to pick child up early and not hand her back over to me. I spoke with her once and she spoke with mum. When mum took my daughter that day I rang her and she said there’s nothing much she can do as only the police can remove a child if mum is caught putting her in danger, that’s the last I heard from them, months ago! New referral from police was put in but not heard anything off them it’s terrible.
Thanks I’ll send it off in the next few days.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.