[Solved] Starting court order process

Yes a sentence or two in response to all the points raised in 5b i.e.

Previous arrangements
Why it broke down
Why you're making the application
What you want

So as an example... We had contact with the children on weekends, but this could be cancelled with little/no notice. Indirect contact was also intermittent and whenever I tried to discuss this, contact was again denied.
Mediation failed, to try and maintain consistency for the children and I, I decided to make an application for contact arrangements to be defined in an order. The schedule i feel would be in the best interests of the children, EOW Friday-Sunday, telephone contact 3x weekly, shared school holidays and Xmas, Fathers day and birthdays. I would also like an interim order for contact to be put in place at the first hearing.

Great thank you yes this is much better than what has been put.

Should we point out contact stopped since finances changed or would this all be discussed in the court room?

I was just giving an example, not neccesarily pertinent to your case, but yes you could say that due to a change in maintenance arrangements, the respondent stopped contact.

Financial arrangements and contact are two entirely separate issues and one isn't reliant on the other. Contact shouldnt be stopped for this reason as far as court is concerned.

We have our court date, its not long now (25 days) I think but we still haven't hear from CAFCAS should we chase them?

Still no contact with children not even by telephone we were even local to where they live but mum refused us to see them

Hello,

First of all I want to say I feel for you and this is such a horrible situation to be in. Me and my husband are just finishing off in court now and it's a very stressful time but totally worth it in the end.

Cafcass didn't get involved in our case until had our first meeting in court. That's when the court decided if they needed to be involved. Unfortunately, due to loads of false allegations made against my husband they did have to be involved and a section 7 report was requested. He was in the same situation though, as his ex refused to let him see or speak to the children.

I'm not an expert with this, and I'm not sure where you are with your case. But I just suggest you stay strong and know that at the end of it all you will have an order in place which she cannot go against.

So so sorry to hear your in this situation. The same happened to me and my husband with his ex. Its taken around 6 months in total to get a final order, all of which she wouldn't let him see the children until the court told her otherwise. She added some false allegations into the mix which is why It took so long. I imagine it would be a few months if not. It's a very very difficult but you will get there and as soon as you have an order she can no longer dictate and change her mind.

Thank you both for your replies.

I do hope its not going to go on that long my husband has depression already which has gotten considerably worse with this.

We have had emails setting up some secure email procedure and they said we would hear from CAFCAS just thought it might have happened by now.

His ex is loving all the drama and won't even talk to us, says this is what we wanted so we have to deal with it.
So sad they can't see what's best for the children. They need a father as well as a mother

Hi there

It’s usual for CAFCASS to prepare a schedule 2 letter in time for the first hearing, this is a very basic safeguarding report and they will interview both parents over the phone. Sometimes it can happen very close to the hearing date, but there’s nothing wrong with giving them a call to enquire.

It has been known for the S2 to be handed to the parties just before they go into the courtroom.

Try to stay focused on your case and what’s best for the children, the children are at the heart of your case and remember that the court considers that both parents should be involved in their children’s lives.

All the best

Is your husband getting any help for his depression - I was thinking along the lines of counselling? It might be worth doing so to help him to have strategies to cope before anything happens, rather than having to deal with the aftermath once it already has.

Thank you yes he is, he has ongoing MH issues which he's concerned his ex wil use against him

He's managed some video calls recently with the children but he said they don't even look at him or seem interested 🙁 breaks my heart to think whats been said to them its cruel really

Just a quick question re self representing, we're getting ready for D day.

Will there be court provided mediators in case the courts ask hubby and ex to come to an agreement? or does it not really work like that?

The CAFCASS adviser should be there and generally will try and generate some agreement between the parties before going into court.

If mediation hasn't been attempted, of the mother refused, there's nothing to stop you from asking the court to consider ordering mediation, if you feel it may help resolve the issues.