[Solved] Spousal Maintenance

Ill think it through but do not think about getting the new partner involved otherwise she will make a claim for her company too!

You both have needs for your children, will depend on age, residence etc.......

Was she / is she able to work and why wouldnt she. The difference will depend on your earning potential. If you have similar earning potential then the argument for spousal support is less likely.

Hi Boycie

Can she really make a claim against my partners company? Even if I'm not a director and just an employee? :boohoo:
Does the same go for a close friend or a sister?

Kids are 13 & 16.

She is fully able to work, went back and did a degree a couple of years back - just she didn't. Recently she was working part-time had plenty of opportunities to work more but chose not to.

Earning potential - at best 1/3 of my current salary.

Thing is, that whilst I am paying child maintenance, the whole mortgage, loans/credit cards and then paying my own living expenses I have nothing left over. Without cutting normal living expenses I'm in the red every month.

Kicked off yesterday when she found out I was paying my girlfriend rent - she expects me to be kept! I asked her if she honestly expected me to watch my girlfriend hold down 3 jobs to keep a roof over our heads, so that I could live rent free and spend my money on her. Her answer.....yes.

In divorce proceedings if you intend to cohabbit with another partner within 6 months there income may be included. Be careful!

You liability to her at present really is only the children. If you are not living at the house and paying loans incurred by her and the house mortgage among everything then I wouldnt expect you owe her on top.

Thanks again Boycie.

Can they really take my new partners income into consideration? She has her own money and the only financial interaction between us is me contributing to the household costs - rent/bills/council tax.

I was paying the loan in her name but was advised not to set an expectation so ceased (also couldn't afford it), now only paying loans in my name and my credit cards (some of the debt was jointly incurred).

The courts could do so at a pinch, but I don't think generally they would do so, but I agree with the above - don't get your girlfriends business involved.

The court will expect her to work if she is able, and I don't think they'd take too kindly to her giving up work. If you do make any agreement, make sure it covers any possible reduction in wage that may happen in future - if you do this now, the court may well see that you are trying to avoid paying. Additionally, with child maintenance, if you try to reduce your wage to reduce your maintenance calculation, your ex will seek a variation and almost certainly succeed.

Have you got a solicitor at the moment - I would say that with the money at stake, it would be worth considering one to get the best deal for you and to put your mind at rest - I think otherwise you could be pushed into giving a lot more away than you should be doing.

Thanks actd

Other than giving away too much to appease her, Is there any way to avoid spousal maintenance or is it totally in the hands of the court?

My concern is that if she gets it, it can be varied at any time and the uncertainty feels like an axe over my head.

I'm fine with paying child maintenance at 20% of my income and even the whole mortgage, I'm just wholly against her claws being stuck into me for years to come. After the [censored] she has pulled I just want to be free to get on with my life unencumbered

I have a solicitor but at £200 an hour I am trying to you her sparingly.

If your solicitor can avoid you paying the mortgage, then she'll pay for herself in no time. When you go to see her, have everything written down in bullet form that you want to cover so you don't miss anything and waste time going back uneccesarily, and there may be some work you can do yourself. Be honest with your solicitor and tell her you are trying to keep your costs down - it's a matter of using her services wisely more than sparingly.

I agree that it can be worth giving a bit more than necessary to spare legal costs, but if you are giving away too much, then it can be a good investment.

Use solicitors sparingly and use good ones. My biggest regret in all this was using a solicitor but fortunately got rid of them a few thousand later. It is often the case people plough all there money quickly and then when they need them for the meat they have run out of cash.

Just to clarify as Ive just finished a 14 hour night shift - she lives in the house with the kids.

Decisions about housing needs will depend on kids. If the kids are grown up - you could argue that the house is sold and proceeds split and you go your separate ways. If you have significant contact with your kids you could do the same anyway just in a slightly different split eg 60-40

Thanks again.

My kids are 13 and 16. I see them every work day after work on the way home. She hates it that I just pop in but its my house too and as long as I'm paying for it (and unless/until I see a court order saying I can't) I will continue to do so. Weekends are different as the kids are always off with their mates - so I'm not inclined to take them or have them stay regularly at my place. I still see my youngest as I still take him to his football matches.

My biggest current problem is the house. Because the borrowing was all based on my salary I'm screwed until it is sold. My youngest turns 18 in 5 years, so for 5 years I will be forced to rent. I think I could push for an earlier sale if I wanted to (its a large 4 bed house, with only the 3 of them living in it) but it is my children's home and I don't want their lives to be disrupted. 60:40 would be fine, but as I said, she wants 80:20 (thinks she deserves 100:00) and because of her unreasonable stance, mediation is doomed to failure. A court decision is the only realistic proposition.

Spousal maintenance is my biggest worry though. Did you get stung for it? Assuming again, that it only lasts until the kids are 18 but worried it could be longer.
I really hate the fact that it can be varied at any time, depending on her circumstances - if she gets it, it means that I can never plan too far ahead and this will stop me from getting on with my life, even though she was the one who had an affair.

Really need to find a way to avoid it if at all possible and don't want to resort to dirty tricks to get that result.

Thanks again for responding, especially after such a long shift

I have got stung yet but my wife want 8.5K per month lol.....going back in october

Sorry to worry you but you gotta be careful about pension as well as she may be able to put in a claim for this as well - ie a 50% share of your pension.

If you do not want to sell it sometimes, judges recommend keeping the house till the children are old enough/move and then the house is sold. Some may consider paying the mortgage + CSA is more than enough and I am sure a judge would see this soon. I would suggest if she does not wanna sell the house then she pays half the mortgage, so you have enough cash in theory to provide a warm safe environment for yourself. Once the kids are old enough then your divide the proceeds 50-50.

BW

8.5k a month!! makes my wife seem reasonable...only wanting 100% of our home!!

I'd love it if she paid half the mortgage, it would certainly help me out. Instead she keeps asking for handouts and for me to pay more and refuses to accept that after funding my 2 lives - I'm broke. since she has only been working part time her income is limited and amazingly (just in time for disclosures) her hours have been cut and she is struggling even more.

I'm thinking about interim/contract work still. Another way around things may (if I can achieve a clean break) be to earn the money and instead of trying to 'lose' it, create a new pension for myself and just pack it away there. That way if she takes half my pension (I have 2 and offered to give her the smaller one) I stand a reasonable chance of rebuilding it.

The other problem with contracting is that it is in my best interests not to earn a large income, rather take directors drawings etc in order to avoid paying too much tax. If I do that then I could impact the child maintenance (what I don't want to do). Suppose I could voluntarily pay more but I would have to be very careful otherwise I could create a new issue with the taxman...which would make my current predicament seem trivial.