Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
If you want a few days break I'm up north not too far away from you and in need of a beer lol
Can you screenshot her comments on Facebook Slim? It would help show her bad attitude!
not really if I say anything against her the cafcass and the courts make me out to be vindictive and malicious and see her as the poor vunerable one. I have screen shotted it anyway
Its ok cartmell if the wan*ers at work finally pay the money they owe me I'm of to ibiza for a long weekend next week 🙂
I am being sent on the SPIP course, the only one close to me available is this coming Saturday, I am debating whether or not to go, I have already been told by CAFCASS they would never have recommended this course for me or my ex but the Judge was determined (apparently, as I wasn't there) that we both attend, CAFCASS have already told me I will not be getting my girls, and they don't recommend me seeing them anytime in the near future, they have totally put me off continuing the case and wanting to walk away completely from it all.
What is the point of this course for me if I haven't been part of their lives to screw them up and see the effects it is having on them? Totally confused by this corrupt system.
New-dad-of-2...
As it's an information program for separated parents it would be seen as a good thing that you were willing to go on it. I doubt the fact you stormed out the hearing that it was ordered in would give you any help with judges going forward in your fight.
I know it all seems pointless and a waste of time and energy but it's on less thing for them to make you do! keep ticking off their boxes until they run out of things to order until it's contact!
difficult but if you want to see your kids grow up you'll have to learn to play the game and the system unless you have the money to throw at solicitors and barristers
hi,
yes I think you should just attend SPIP. my case was straightforward. court ordered both of us to attend SPIP. Since it was both and not one-sided, I just did it to get it out the way. I found an evening session after work. prefer that than to give up a weekend.
My case is completely one sided in her favour, I have enquired in to a date but not received any reply as yet, not sure what the point is when you are already told you won't be seeing your kids again.
Most cases where the ex is throwing around false claims and allegations seem like no win situations for us....seems we are guilty until proven innocent...I can see why the courts would do that...
you only have to look at cases where the courts or social services didn't step in and children were harmed or worse due to the risk not assessed correctly...I do now see the reasons for the courts and crapcass's reluctance to just accept our words that we are not a risk to our children versus what the false allegations are....it doesn't make it right when it's you being made to prove your not what the ex claims.
what there really ought to be to help prevent the false allegations starting is more repercussion to the people throwing out false allegations...i.e. if found to be lying then they should be found in contempt of court and dealt with by way of some form of penalty harsh enough to discourage others from lying and trying to get away with it.
until that happens we have to do what we need to do to protect ourselves and to find a way to deal with the stresses this all brings.
as I had and many others before you, you have two choices.....
Grit your teeth, prove every false allegation as lies and keep battling on for the right to be in your children's lives
or
Give up, walk away and look after yourself for the day when your children seek you out.
me, well i'm stuck between both options right now, i'm finding it difficult to carry on but have to until I get told I can't do any more....at that point I will walk away....but I will walk away knowing that I did everything in my power with the resources I had at the time to keep in my childs life....that is what will keep me battling on.
I can then look my child in the eyes if they ever seek me out and prove to them I did all I could, and if they want proof there are currently 3 boxes full of court bundles and orders proving how I tried but failed due to their mother and a system that failed to help me protect them.
Keep strong!
hi dad,
even if it seems the deck is stacked against you, don't give up. excuse my ignorance, but you mentioned that you have already been told you can not see your kids. what reasons were given for such a decision??
I agree entirely dad-i-dad - the courts have to be cautious with the safety of the children, but it does need more serious consequences if one parent lies to get their own way.
... I agree too, it’s something that I feel strongly about... if the courts applied the rules on contempt for anyone found to be lying, I think we would soon see a change. The same for breaching contact, if the existing rules were enforced consistently, we would see improvement there too.
We live in hope!
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.