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So my son has been to court again and his little one has been given a guardian and her own solicitor even though she is only a toddler because of this taking so long and there is no end in sight.
I have been reading up on this and it appears that the guardian should visit both sets of parents. Up until now we have been spending all our time fighting her false allegations that she has come out with but now we have a chance to say something to the guardian about our concerns over the mother and her state of mind. Not only what she is doing with regards to my son but also about things that have gone on in her past that just seem to be ignored.
How do we get our point across about our concern for our granddaughter and my son about his daughter without being totally negative about the mother. I believe it is frowned upon if you have a bad word to say about the mother but this is about the little one and the upbringing we believe she will have living with the mother.
Hi there
I think you should tread carefully, the Guardian is a CAFCASS appointed officer, usually with lots of experience, but you don't want to go in all guns blazing.
Keep all conversations balanced, of course speak about your concerns and the frustration of constant false allegations, but perhaps talk about it in terms of concerns for the mother and her ability to cope and your wish to take some of the parenting burden from her, which a co parenting arrangement would do. Box clever, there are ways of sharing information that is negative without it being interpreted as nasty.
If you want to being up her past then again do it in such a way that it won't be seen as malicious. Choose your words wisely!
Thanks both. That is what I thought about speaking our minds. Half of us wants to go in all guns blazing about how she is behaving and her past etc in order to stir things up for her but we also know that it will probably go against us if we are being negative about her. She has lied and been malicious towards my son for the past 2.5 years but nothing ever gets said about that at court and nobody seems to be bothered but if we say something bad about her, it would go against us.
Will have to think carefully (as you mentioned) about what we can say to get our point across and not make it sound as though we are being negative towards her (but it will be very hard.) πΏ
Yeah you'll just be made out to be malicious if you bad mouth the Mother in any way, the best bet is to lie through your back teeth and actually praise her, at the end of the day Cafcass will always side with the resident parent, It's what the judges think which is the most important think and they WILL suss the ex out and realise what she is like, It will all seem like everything is going in the EX's favour but towards the end of the case you will see things swinging in your favour for sure.
My S2 and S7 completely believed every word my ex said and I was made out to be a controlling malicious scum my ex loved it in court she thought it was done and dusted so I think she let her guard down and got cocky thats when the tide started to turn and the judges started seeing her for what she was.
I'd keep quiet, keep it child focused, don't slag the ex in anyway or try to elude to her ways as they will easy spot what you are up to and paint you in a bad light anyway, you can't win with this scum, don't worry what the ex is up to concentrate on yourselves I did and it's worked wonders π
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