[Solved] Soon to be ex threatening Court

I think the only thing you need to pay legally is child maintenance. You can find out toughly what that is from CMS. And legally you only need to pay that from the date she or you open a CMS case. I.e. no back payments.

If you have joint mortgage it makes sense for you both to make sure it gets paid. If not, the bank could come after both of you to recover costs and both your credit histories will be seriously damaged.

That is it. No other bills, utilities or childcare costs, etc.

But i would definitely recommend you try to get a clean break agreement through a consent order and get it approved by the court. That should say what happens to house, pension or any other assets but a consent order does not deal with ongoing child maintenance. Don't agree to pay a lump sum in lieu of child maintenance.

I don't think a small claims court would even allow the claim to go through as it's currently being handled by the family court (I could be wrong on this - I would contact the citizen's advice bureau to confirm). I would continue to pay a reasonable amount simply because you don't want to alienate to family court when it comes to the divorce settlement, but I would say that she is being unreasonable in some respects (au pair) but it might be worth paying for school meals, especially of you are so close to the divorce.

Hi There,
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I agree with actd, I think that as you are so close to the end, that if you are able to afford to pay a little more than you would like too than it would be a good idea, it's not going to go against you in the divorce courts if you are showing you are trying to support until things are settled.
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GTTS

Thank you for the advice. I really wanted to make sure that this wouldn't be another thing on my plate right now...I don't understand the logic, we're about to both start mediation in a few weeks (both MIAM done) and now she says this. How does she think that will help in mediation if I'm emotionally effected from being taken to court!

I agree, I don't think small claims would be right as there's an ongoing case, but that's just my opinion.

I would worry that what you're paying now, as it's more than you should be, that it might set the precedent if child maintenance is decided as part of the divorce settlement.

Have you done a CMS calculation? Here's a link

www.gov.uk/calculate-your-child-maintenance

At least if the amount settled on in court, can be overridden after 12 months by opening a case with the CMS.

Best of luck

Thank you.

I wanted to leave the payment as it was until we sort out finances via mediation as I thought me reducing the payment to the CMS recommended level (around £950 a month) wouldn't be right as we haven't sorted anything out for the house etc.

Can you explain your 'I would worry' comment and the 'overridden' comment?

..l was just voicing a slight worry that if maintenance is decided via court order, rather than by the CMS method of calculation, the judge could take account of the amount you're paying and make an order for that amount, rather than the amount that the CMS would calculate.

If the child maintenance is decided in court as part of a divorce settlement, that amount would stand for 12 months, after that you could open a case through the CMS and the amount that they arrive at would become the amount you would pay. A case with the CMS overrides a court order after the court order has been in place for 12 months.

Of course if your circumstances change within the first 12 months you would have to take it back to court to ask for a new amount. You or your ex can go back to court if circumstances have changed, just as both of you can open a case with the CMS.

It might be possible to open a case with CMS even before it's finalised - that way the amount is set (you can voluntarily pay more if you want) but I am pretty certain a court won't and can't override the CMS.

..l was just voicing a slight worry that if maintenance is decided via court order, rather than by the CMS method of calculation, the judge could take account of the amount you're paying and make an order for that amount, rather than the amount that the CMS would calculate.

If the child maintenance is decided in court as part of a divorce settlement, that amount would stand for 12 months, after that you could open a case through the CMS and the amount that they arrive at would become the amount you would pay. A case with the CMS overrides a court order after the court order has been in place for 12 months.

Of course if your circumstances change within the first 12 months you would have to take it back to court to ask for a new amount. You or your ex can go back to court if circumstances have changed, just as both of you can open a case with the CMS.

Thank you for clarifying. I would definitely go for the CMS approach once we start mediation and hope that mediation leads us to agreement and a consent order for court. It's been 3 months since I acknowledged the petition and sent it back, not sure when decree nisi will arrive?

When you talk about settling in court, is that assuming that mediation doesn't work and no consent order is put forward?

It might be possible to open a case with CMS even before it's finalised - that way the amount is set (you can voluntarily pay more if you want) but I am pretty certain a court won't and can't override the CMS.

I'm going to do this once mediation gets underway...I'd imagine the mediator will suggest this anyway?

You could certainly run it by the mediator - I'd have the forms to open a case ready to go off as soon as you have done this, in case your ex tries anything sneaky.