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Its my boys 3rd birthday in a few weeks.
As stated in my other thread: Since non-molestation order I have only seen him for 2 hours a week unsupervised at a contact centre. My ex hasn't even given me telephone calls. Courts have had child arrangement application for 5 weeks now and its "still with the judge".
I will ask my ex if I could spend part of the day with him on his birthday. She will no doubt say no and then offer a telephone call for the day so that I can speak to him. Purely to ease her concious.
Now, I know when I call him on his birthday he will ask where I am and I will have to make up some lie. He will then get upset because I'm not with him. He's 2 so he will get over it. However, I don't want to ruin his day by calling him and upsetting him. Therefore I'm going to tell my wife that unless the telephone call offer is a permananent thing, its in the best interest of our son that I don't speak to him on the day and she just makes up some excuse to him about daddy going to buy him a present. I will then see him at the contact centre and celebrate.
Is this wrong?
I honestly don't understand my ex's logic about the contact. She has repeatedly stated she is happy for me to see him unsupervised but won't let me see him unless its in a contact centre. What is she worried about?! I dont have to come in contact with her to see him. Her parents can do the handover. I can't run off with or refuse to not return him because due to the NMO I would be in serious trouble and it will count against me during the custody hearing.
What other reason can she have beyond just being cruel.
I want to ask her one last time. The last throw of the dice. So can someone help me how to word a letter that could convince just to be flexible on his birthday.
Exactly the same scenario happened to me I missed the birth, Xmas, Father's Day then it came to my daughters first birthday I was seeing her in a contact centre and rather than having to contact the ex I just sucked it up and had a birthday party for her on my own at the cc on the session after her birthday it's so hard to cope with but once the bday is out the way you do feel better she would of only said no if I'd asked to see her and she would of done me for harrassment so I never bothered I'm so pleased I did
Hi bmurkin,
I think what slim says is right.
It will be difficult. You could ask your ex - there is no harm in that. Just be prepared for a negative response.
Then plan how you want to mark the day with the contact you have. So make the celebration. At your next contact.
I know that is really difficult and unfair - sadly this is the new harsh reality.
You are limited in what you can do currently so need to do your best within those limits . that's all you can do as a loving dad.
MH
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