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Hi All,
Thanks in advance for any advice anybody can give me.
Basically..........
My son (13years old) does not want to live with his mother anymore. I have mentioned it to her but she blamed me for poisoning his mind and refused to discuss it any further. He has mentioned to her that he doesn't want to be there anymore and wants to be with me, but she has told him that she needs to talk to me first....and then refuses to talk to me!!!! Tonight he phoned me up in tears and said that enough was enough and he wanted to know what to pack as he was going to run away from her to me.
What I need to know is where I stand legally if he does? There is no residency order in place for the kids, I have 2 others that live with the ex as well (my daughter has also indicated an interest in living with me). The ex will not even talk to me about letting him come to live with me, but yet dangles hope in front of him by saying she will.
All I want is for him to be happy and come and live with me.
Help me please, this is killing me.
I wonder what the authorities would do if he repeatedly ran away from his mothers and came to you every time - chances are at some point it's probably going end up in court and a residence order would have to be made, and at 13, your son's views are probably going to hold sway.
However, I will ask the CCLC to come on and give an opinion, so keep an eye out.
Dear Luac123
Thank you for your post.
It is firstly important to establish whether you have parental responsibility for your children. You would have this if:-
• You were married to the mother;
• Your name is registered or re-registered on the birth certificate after the 1st December 2003
• You have a Parental Responsibility agreement with the mother;
• You have a Parental Responsibility Order from the court;
• You have a Residence Order from the court
Parental Responsibility is equal rights and responsibilities towards the children that you would share with the mother.
It is hoped that Residence can be agreed between parties.
If however this isn’t the case or if the parties cannot agree a amicable solution, the first stage that we would advise to take would be to contact National Family Mediation on 0300 4000 636. Mediation is used to try and resolve any issues that parties have amicably without resorting to the Court process. Anything that is agreed in mediation is not legally binding.
If mediation does not work, the final stage would be applying to the Courts for a Residence Order. A Residence Order is a legally binding document. A Judge would hear all the evidence put before them by you and your partner and make an Order that is in the children’s best welfare. Once the Order is made it must be stuck too and any breach can be brought back to Court and the Order can be enforced. Please note that dependant on the children’s ages their wishes and feelings may be taken into consideration.
If you do not have parental responsibility, you could attempt to negotiate with the mother in mediation regarding this and try and negotiate agreeing a parental responsibility agreement form. This would give you Parental Responsibility.
To apply for a Residence Order you would need to complete a C100 form which can be obtained from www.justice.gov.uk or from your local Family Proceedings Court. There is a fee of £200 for this application. However, if you are eligible for legal aid there is a fee remission form entitled EX160A. Once you complete the forms you then need to lodge them at your Local Family Proceedings Court and then the Courts will write to you with a hearing date.
If you do decide to go down the Court Order route we would strongly recommend that you look at the Welfare Checklist which is listed below. This is a checklist which the Judge will have to take into consideration when deciding to make an Order:
The Welfare Checklist - section 1 Children Act 1989
a) The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned (considered in light of his age and understanding);
b) His physical, emotional and / or educational needs;
c) The likely effect on him of any change in his circumstances;
d) His age, [censored], background and any characteristics of his, which the court considers relevant;
e) Any harm which he has suffered or is at risk of suffering;
f) How capable each of his parents and any other person in relation to whom the court considers the question to be relevant, is of meeting his needs;
g) The range of powers available to the court under the Children Act 1989 in the proceedings in question
If you would like any further assistance on this matter or to discuss your case in further detail please do not hesitate to contact us further on our webchat facility which can be found at www.childrenslegalcentre.com.
Yours sincerely
CORAM CHILDREN’S LEGAL CENTRE
I would like to thank actd and Coram (CCLC) for their rapid responses.
Just to know that there is someone out there who is willing to listen and provide help and advice has taken a great weight off my shoulders and enabled me to focus on the actual problem at hand.
Thank you all so very much.
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