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Hello all, I would like some advice on my current situation
Me and my ex parted early last year, and shortly afterwards things became bitter between us, and contact with my three children stopped in March 2016
Shortly afterwards I contacted my solicitor, who advised me to write to my ex to try and re establish contact, and after I email her, my eldest started to text me, this was three months after I last saw them
A month or so passed and my solicitor sent my ex a letter, to invite my ex to a mediation appointment- then all went down hill. The reply from her solicitor stated that she did not wish to participate in mediation due to the domestic violence she suffered at the hands of myself- which was untrue. The indirect don't act I had with my elsest stopped, and shortly afterwards I received a letter which stated by him that he didn't want a relationship with his father-he was 9 and this hurt me
So, I was left with the only option to apply to the court to start the process of gaining access.
The first hearing request a section 7 report to be completed, which was done before the next hearing three months later
It was all against me, stating that no contact should be put in place and a section 37 report be completed
The section 7 stated that based on the allegations my ex and son made deemed time to be a danger to women and children- something which shocked me, and I wasn't contacted by Cafcass following any allegations in order to respond to them
The section 37 was completed, which was over 38 pages long, and contradicted the section 7, stating that I should have contact with my children. Significantly, the social worker stated that my eldest son had told her my ex had ' bribed' him with gifts to say things. She belived that his words were influenced by his mother, and gave other examples of alienation.
There was no evidence to back up her claims, and there is a lot of contradicting points where she's said things and changed what she's said.
The third hearing - the case was allocated to be but in front of a district judge a week later
The fourth hearing - a guardian and solicitor were asked to be appointed and a date was set for about 5 weeks later
The fifth hearing - was held last Monday. Very brief hearing on where it was made clear that there wasn't a role for the guardian- as two professionals had completed two reports which contradicted one another, so a third opinion either was would of still left some doubt
The judge scheduled another hearing to be set in November, with an addendum report to be made by the Cafcass worker in relation to the allegations made. Also Scott schedules to be prepared
On Friday just gone, my eldest messaged me ( 13 months) since I last had any contact
He seemed happy and was taking to me, sending photos etc like all was well. This was only 5 days after the last hearing
I decided to call my ex last night , and I didn't know if I should of waited until Monday to speak to my solicitor first, but I just thought it would be good to talk in regards to my son
She explained that he had been asking to contact me recently but was worried that I wouldn't reply, and that he was much happier now he's been texting me?
My ex miraculously has decided that this process has gone to far, and even she stated she thought the section 7 was over the top and didn't reflect her thoughts
She said she wishes to visit her solicitor to see what she can sort out? We spent a lot of time talking about the children and I do feel positive about the progress
I'm in two halfs about it all, as it would be good to be able to get out of having to have a fact finding hearing, with the expense etc. It would be at least another 6 months before I see my children going down that route
Although I also want some reassurance that she won't screw me over!
Does anyone know what my options are at the moment? Has the process gone to far pending a fact finding hearing?
Surely if she wants to now back down as such, she can't use the same against me?
I personally think she's lost face slightly after being found to be alienating my eldest by a professional via the section 37
Thanks in advance
As the case is so far advanced and there have been serious allegations made, I doubt that stopping it at this point would be possible, the court will want to be sure that the children are completely safe.
You should speak to your solicitor ASAP and perhaps they could liaise with her solicitor about this. I would also advise that you speak to the Social Worker about this u turn on your ex's part.
I would also consider writing to the court to ask for an urgent return to court for new directions in light of this new development, your solicitor should be able to advise on this too.
Of course there's always the chance that she will deny the telephone conversation happened, so proceed cautiously.
All the best and keep us posted.
I think getting a new hearing for directions would be prudent at this stage.If you and your ex are still speaking, it might be worth asking her if she is willing to have your solicitors request a hearing.
It would be up to the court whether they would want to proceed with a Fact Finding or whether they would be willing to authorise a consent order between the two of you.
Just be wary though, she might deny the conversation, but also your solicitors may advise you both against this course of action as some have a habit of preferring proceedings to drag on when there is no need.
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