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Hi,
This is my second divorce and is completely different to my first which was as amicable as they come.
Following a difficult period of financial and emotional issues, through a marriage counselor I agreed that my wife and daughter could take an extended Christmas holiday with her family in Eastern Europe. It seemed a possible solution but required me to take an extra job to cover the mortgage, bills, loans, etc.
My wife didn't return after Christmas as she did not feel well enough to do so. I visited in April for our daughter's birthday when my wife informed me that she wouldn't be returning and had filed for a divorce. She expected me to pay towards living expenses for her and my daughter but after discussion accepted that I couldn't whilst paying the mortgage etc. Although I didn't see this coming the greater shock was that my daughter no longer spoke English and seemed reluctant to be with me.
I applied through the ICACU for the return of my daughter on the grounds of illegal retention but it was decided that it was in my daughter's best interest to stay with her mother. I can only describe this experience as being similar to loss through abduction or death. I have accepted it and have had no further contact since, other than a few e-mails regarding the divorce. I also lost my father last year, but we had the foresight to revise his will and place his estate in trust.
I have discussed my situation with the mortgage and loan companies who have been very understanding. I have paid the interest on both for the past 3 years and the negative equity on the property has reduced from £20k to less than 10k. I have been advised that although these are in joint names, legal action to recover the debt would be taken solely against me as my wife no longer resides in the UK. I don't need my wife's permission to sell, she must only be informed.
The contact agreement is that I must apply in writing to the court and can only visit in her resident country. Both myself and my eldest daughter have accepted that this is very unlikely to be feasible, but we may meet when my youngest daughter becomes an adult and can make her own choices.
It is now 3 years later and the courts seem to be reaching a conclusion in the custody and divorce proceedings. I was surprised that they have ordered a maintenance payment of 180€ and 4000€ in back payments. No consideration has been given to the mortgage or debts, in fact it appears they believe I now own the property! Luckily, my wife has contested this decision and is asking for more, giving me a little thinking time.
I am a care and support worker and have a moderate income which varies between £16k and £20k.
I have always paid maintenance for my eldest daughter at £108 pm.
I am reluctant to make payments to my second wife.
I would like sole ownership of my home, but accept that I will probably have to sell it.
If I sell the house there will be a debt of £5k to £10k.
I work partly at home and would lose approximately £5k of my income.
I have a solicitor in place for my trust.
Questions:
How is this all prioritised in law, current maintenance, debts in joint names, new maintenance?
How is the court order enforced in the UK? I have a basic understanding of REMO, CMS and CSA?
It is possible that I may have to pay more than I earn, would this be a basis for bankruptcy? (This seems ludicrous but I am learning that anything can happen)
What should I be asking a solicitor to help with, considering my limited budget?
Finally, I am tired, I've been working around 70 hrs a week for the past 3 years. Whatever comes next, I am looking forward to a change and the possibilities that will come with it.
Than you in advance for any ideas, thoughts or information.
Gary
Hi there, I'm afraid I don't have any knowledge of finance and divorces but there are other members that will hopefully offer some advice.
You could look for a McKenzie Friend with Public Indemnity Insurance that is a qualified lawyer if you need to use a professional service. That would help keep costs to a minimum. Families Need Fathers and the Society of Professional McKenzie Friends hold lists of these. It's worth checking with your local CAB too, they're sometimes very knowledgeable in that area but it varies from branch to branch....
Good luck 🙂
Hi Gary
I'm afraid that, much as I have been through a couple of divorces (first one was very friendly, second was definitely anything but), there are a number of complexities that mean I am very reluctant to give advice as I think this is best left to your solicitor (we can't ask CORAM to comment as they aren't allowed to do this if you have a solicitor). Since your ex is in eastern Europe, I'm guessing that it would be covered by REMO, so it may be worth having a word with them to get some further advice, and also have a word with CMS regarding their calculation for maintenance, and then see about getting that used in the settlement.
I wonder about the wisdom of selling your house - you are obviously paying the interest and the negative equity is falling. Realistically, if you keep the house, you will save on estate agency fees and legal fees, which otherwise would only add to your negative equity debt, and presumably you are going to need somewhere to live. At the very worst, if you continue to pay interest only, I would guess that it is still probably cheaper than renting somewhere to live and as property prices increase, you will hopefully move into positive equity, and hopefully in the future start to pay off capital as well. In addition, you won't lose the income you are getting from working from home. You do need to make sure that your ex is no longer on the register as a joint owner.
Thank you for your response actd.
Whilst I can afford to pay the interest on the mortgage I don't earn enough to have sole ownership. My salary since buying, has dropped from £30k to £20k through redundancy. The property value has increased in the past 3 years, but I am concerned that I may now be out of time. If I have to pay an additional 250€ a month in maintenance I would be unlikely to also meet the mortgage payments.
So far the only UK court involvement was a summons to provide evidence for the Slovak courts. I have no idea what will come next but understand the worst case scenario would be be a court order through REMO for the 250€ which will inevitably be followed by another for mortgage arrears. All best avoided if possible!
The CMS calculation is around £240 for 2 children, I already pay £108 to my first wife, so I understand that I should be paying around £120 to each ex. I contacted the CMS but they couldn't/wouldn't offer any advice, other than I need a solicitor.
I have a solicitor for my father's probate and the trust fund we arranged. Should I use this solicitor (not local) for the divorce, property, maintenance? Do I need a solicitor for everything or just some aspects and should I use just one solicitor or find a specialist? This is the most intimidating part as the last specialist I met 3 years ago was talking in tens of thousands for fees.
Hi again, I might be wrong but it's my understanding that maintenance does not double. Check with CMS but when my partner's oldest child became part of his life again after an 8 year absence, his liability increased from 12% of his income to 16% of his income and this was split between the 2 children. Obviously this would mean a decrease to your first wife.
Give a few solicitors a call, a lot offer free 30 minute consultations and if you can speak to a few, you should get a fair idea of potential fees. Another option that I mentioned before is finding a McKenzie Friend that is a qualified lawyer. There's quite a lot of ex solicitors that practise as MF's now and their average fees for this type of work would be about 50 per hour. You would have to do your homework though, check out their credentials and make sure they have Indemnity Insurance. I can't think of anyone immediately but have a look at the organisations I mentioned before, it could be another option if you can't afford solicitors fees.
I've been around the houses over the past few days. I've spoken to the CMS who couldn't offer any advice and told me I needed a solicitor. I made an appointment with a solicitor who advised me to contact Official Solicitor Family and Divorce as it was an EU Judgement. They couldn't give any advice but suggested the REMO department. They were reluctant to help but did advise that I shouldn't travel to Slovakia as I may be detained. They confirmed they have not yet received a REMO order from Slovakia and advised me to go back to my solicitor. I have gone back to my solicitor who has contacted a barrister who gave some advice:
I can either pay the order or wait for a REMO, but the arrears will continue to increase. I may also be arrested.
The Slovak calculation of 30% supersedes the CMS calculation of 16% as the Slovakian legal system has seized the case.
I should contact the British Embassy in Slovakia who may offer some assistance.
I should take action in the UK to secure legal control of our property as this has not yet been seized.
It fascinates me how the legal system works! At the moment it is only working against me, but hopefully someone else can learn from this.
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