[Solved] Should I go back to court ?!?

Hi there

It’s not really a good idea to start preemptive proceedings, you could come out of it with a no order.

I totally understand how you're feeling right now, your thoughts will be in overdrive I’m sure, but perhaps it’s better to let the dust settle, you’re still in shock about it all and your emotions will be all over the place.

Court should always be the very last resort, if arrangements can be reached outside of court it’s better to try and do so. However, I know that sometimes it’s not possible. At the moment you don’t want to speak or see her, I totally get that, but at some point it would be better if you can be civil with each other, for your daughters sake.... maybe not what you want to hear right now,

If you’re set on court, I would call the mediator and explain what has happened and they may agree to sign the form to enable you to make an application. Generally, the rule is, if more than 4 months has elapsed since the last mediation sessions, it would need to be attempted again.

All the best and be kind to yourself.

Thanks for your reply! I have calmed down a lot more now and have accepted the way things are. I’m still sickened at the fact another man is potentially sleeping in the same room if not same bed as my daughter (she has always slept with mom).

We have agreed that I’ll have her 2 nights in the week after work until 7:30 and all day Sunday 11-6. I’m very happy with that as previously she always insisted contact was to be supervised by her which was a joke.

She had however told me that if I take my daughter to my parents house so they can see their granddaughter that she will stop all contact. They are of no threat to my daughter and have only saw her a handful of times since she was born due to mom again using her as a weapon.

In the last court order it states that “it is agreed upon that the paterna grandparents will have no contact with my daughter”. This isn’t an actual order so if I was to take her to my parents and she found out could I get into trouble ?

I don’t want to break trust with her but if she is happy to have a random man around my daughter surely I’m correct to introduce her actual family into her life ?

Thanks again

What do you mean by a court order that isn’t a court order, was the agreement just drawn up between you both after court proceedings were stopped?

If there’s no court order in place, she can stop contact if she wants...If she were to find out you were taking your child to visit your parents against her wishes, she could easily carry out her threat and stop contact.

As far as you getting into trouble for going against her wishes, no that’s not a possibility... but if there are safeguarding reasons for your parents being excluded, she could involve Social Services and it could make it more difficult for you to get contact reinstated.

If you ex has a new partner, I would doubt that he'd be too happy with having your daughter in the same bed, so it's entirely possible that this isn't happening. There's also the possibility that your ex might want time alone with her new partner, so it might be possible for you to have your daughter on occasions to give them time together - if that can work to your advantage, then make the most of it.

Thanks again! The only orders we actually have is a parental responsibility order for myself as I was given the option to “leave court and continue contact as it is order to to a contact centre for 12 weeks” as I was regularly seeing my daughter I chose the first.

I had contact last night for 2 hours and did indeed take her to my parents for dinner. There are no safeguarding issues at all the issue was my ex would not let anyone who had anything to do with me see my daughter out of pure spite. Obviously this broke my heart so now I have the chance I will take her to see them every Wednesday.

If and when the ex finds out could be a major issue but again if I can’t get in trouble in court for it and there are absolutely no issues what so ever I’m very happy with that!

You said previously...

“In the last court order it states that “it is agreed upon that the paterna grandparents will have no contact with my daughter”. This isn’t an actual order so if I was to take her to my parents and she found out could I get into trouble ?”

I’m still confused as to the nature of your order to be honest, is the above a recital and written down anywhere in the PR order that you have, or anywhere else?

If your situation ends up in court, she could refer to this agreement, if it’s written as a recital, whilst not legally binding, it is seen as an agreement reached between you and would be viewed as such.

To clear this up properly, you could make an application for a Specific Issue Order to address contact with your parents, at the moment it’s the elephant in the room and it may come back to haunt you.

I would hate to give you advice that you later find not to be the case, purely because of confusion about the actual details of your case and what has actually been written in the order.