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My daughter is 6 months old and I see her 3 times a week for an hour, the ex tells me the times that I can see her and although it’s based around my shifts I have no other say in days/times. I have had to unfortunately cancel last minute on a few occasions due to last minute shift changes, my ex is aware this happens due to the nature of my job.
I am looking to reach a point of 50/50 shared care. I have asked for overnights to start in a couple of months time which is met with a firm no due to breastfeeding. She says she won’t consider overnights for at least another year.
Would it be beneficial for me to go to court for a CAO? I’m not sure how much my shifts would be taken into account - I work a rolling pattern (2 days, 4nights, 3 days off) but there are often changes to this which can be last minute. My parents are happy to step in to help with childcare during my nights/shift changes.
Questions I have
1. Is it reasonable that I get no say in the days/times that I’m given for contact? I understand it’s challenging with my shifts but it’s all being done to suit my ex at the moment.
2. Would the court take my shift work into account and create an order that is flexible with this?
3. How likely would 50/50 shared care be? Obviously not just yet but by 2-3years old. Would it be reasonable that my parents have her during the day/overnight if I’m at work during my time with her? Or am I likely to only get contact on my days off?
cheers
hi,
as child is very young, I don't think court will grant overnights until 1-2 years later. think your better off avoiding courts for now. seeking 50/50 is also very difficult to achieve where one parent is not agreeable and if child very young.
- @bill337
Thanks for advice. Would they really not grant them from 12 months old? Or do I need to accept that I’ll be looking waiting until she is closer to 2?
Also - in what way is it difficult to achieve if one parent isn’t agreeable? Do they tend to side with the mother’s wishes? I know my ex definitely is opposed to 50/50 at the moment so will be difficult unless going through court.
Cheers
every case is different. courts may order it at 12 months, or later. if your ex will agree to overnights after a year, I think that's reasonable, and better option than taking it to court at the moment.
lot of info about law and 50/50:
https://www.lawgazette.co.uk/practice-points/is-50/50-shared-care-a-good-idea/5117945.article
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