[Solved] She’s taking my son away, because I was emotionally abusive

Thank you.

I was told recently that the courts are sympathetic to dads and that abuse is only considered if it affects the children, as I never abused my son. Interesting that you’ve advised differently, thank you.

My ex is going all out. She’s got women’s aid working with her, she’s contacted the police who aren’t pursuing anything, the health visitor referred to MARAC which I found out through a friend as I wasn’t supposed to know (she doesn’t know I know). I feel like she’s building a huge case against me when I’ve realised I need to change and am doing my best.

I’m terrified the courts are going to rip me to shreds.

I’m not legally trained, this is just my opinion... all I can say is that I’ve seen many members in your position having to fight every inch of the way.

I’d be interested to know who told you the court will be sympathetic and they won’t consider the abuse against your ex? Abuse is always considered where there are children involved... that has been the experience of many Dads here. You only have to read through previous posts on this subject to get an understanding of that.

Whilst courts are used to parties making false or exaggerated allegations, the fact that you admit you were emotionally abusive, that women’s aid are involved and there is already a MARAC ongoing too, will make things very difficult for you... in my opinion.

The best thing you can do is to cooperate with the authorities, it’s highly likely that you will now have to prove that you aren’t a risk to your child, and there will most likely be stringent conditions placed upon you, lots of hoops to jump through, I’m not saying you won’t see your child again, just that you most likely have a long road ahead of you.

It’s impossible to predict outcomes, I hope that you will find the easiest route back to your child, but it’s always better to be prepared for the worse, then anything less is a bonus.

I would advise you get a solicitor that specialises in family law, if you can afford it. All the best

I mainly read it online. I read forums directed towards women where women have posted saying ‘the court didn’t care about the abuse. They still have him 50/50 contact etc’

I’m not minimising the way I acted. I am highly embarrassed and feel awful. I’m working on this. I just need a chance to prove myself and don’t think I will be able to if she moves away with my son.

I get where you’re coming from and I don’t judge... I wouldn’t be right not to point out the pitfalls... you’d be better off reading the stories from fellow Dads here, to get a better idea of what you might be up against.

I wish you well.

lovingdad dont feel so down and disheartened. if you ever shouted at your partner, thats considered emotional abuse. heck maybe even slamming the door is too!

no idea where you are in court process, but cafcass would study your case and will decide if you need to go on domestic violence course etc. if you want contact with your kids, then you will need to fight tooth and nail, and jump through the hoops. just try not to lose your mind in the process. have to stay calm and positive and try ignore the trouble making from the other side, and just focus on court dates.