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Hi all,
My partner has his final hearing on 22nd July and up until now he has seen his 2 young boys on all the days he's had off. Recently she has started getting more weird than usual and the other night she refused to talk to him on the phone so he text her about picking them up for the weekend and said is 5pm ok. She didn't reply until yesterday and said it's not up for discussion and that she is expecting him at 10am. He explained that he couldn't do that as he has stuff to sort out in preparation for their stay as he has worked 8 days straight. He said she could drop him off if she wanted and he'll pick up the older son after school. She didn't reply until 12 with the following message; I've taken their names out.
As you have failed to pick up 4 year old at 10am this morning, I am asking you not to collect 6 year old from school, I will collect him myself. I have accommodated your proposed schedule, I have even accommodated your changed rota yet you fail to stick to the set times. You have disappointed 4 year old as he was waiting for you with his trunkie.
Is it me or is that totally vindictive? He said he couldn't be there so she tells a 4 year old daddy's coming when he isn't. My partner went to the school anyway but she tried to ignore him but said that he isn't seeing them today and walked off. He drove round to her house and she came out and said he can't see them this weekend at all and not now either. He called the police and they went in and spoke to her and after that she allowed him to say hello but then said he can't see them until after the hearing.
How is this even logical? Should he call the court or write to them or something? She's done it on all on purpose because it's fathers day next week. She tried it on last year but gave in as the kids were asking why they couldn't see daddy.
They had never agreed any set time for pick up and she ignored his text just to be able to twist it.
Sounds like she is under P with the upcoming hearing.
You dont say if the hearing is for residency or contact but whichever she must not be keen on your partner having what it is he is requesting
In terms of who to report it to Im not sure.
Id deffinately record it in a log, assuming your partner keeps one. (I do and so do some others)
Maybe your partner should inform his solicitor if he is not self representing or his barrister on the day, if he has one.
Id be interested to hear the opinion of others on this.
I hope the final hearing works out for the best.
Regards,
Dave
Thanks for the reply Dave.
The hearing is for a contact order and to take them abroad for a long weekend. She accused him of wanting to abduct the kids but the judge and cafcass ignored it.
He does keep a log and has a print out off all texts.
She doesn't seem to actually have an understanding of what's going on. She says she can't wait until the hearing but she is doing a lot of things that are making her look crazy. Neither of them has a solicitor.
Any advice/opinions will be very much appreciated.
Let her keep being crazy and hope the judge sees it for what it is.
Lets see what the others say 🙂
Have CAFCASS actually prepared a report?
How was the interim contact worked out, was it with CAFCASS/the Court?
Does your partner and his ex have to file statements? If so, I would refer to it in your partner's statement
CAFCASS did file a report and said it was up to the court do decide and there has been no further investigations from them. There was no interim put in place but the judge told her at the first hearing that she has to facilitate contact and there's been no problems until now. They've both already files statements in Feb although he hasn't seen what her statement of reply was. It seems like both CAFCASS and the court realised straight away that is the one causing trouble but at the time didn't think it was necessary to go further. He's always had a concern that her and her mum (who she lives with) are planting little seeds in their heads to turn them against him. He feels powerless to do anything until 22nd July. It's already been 3 weeks since he saw them due to his shift pattern and he's beside himself.
Hi there 🙂
I do feel for you and your partner but with no actual interim contact order in place, he is subject to her whims I'm afraid. As the judge told her that she must facilitate contact, then her behaviour goes against that and your partner does need to point this out in court.
To upset the four year old and have him waiting with his trunkie when she knew he wouldnt be picked up is blatently using the child and again I would make a point of raising this at the hearing. I belive your partner will be allowed to cross examine her and he should make this one of the questions he asks...what her objective could be, other than hurting the 4yr old, in having him waiting and ready when she knew he wasnt going to be picked up! Thats just cruel...and is called Parental Alienation.
If he has not seen a copy of her Staement, contact the court and get a copy, you need to know what she is saying in that statement.
Was there a time limit on putting the statement in 1morespicy? I agree you could do with having a copy of her statement! 😉
He only had a week to do is statement but it was very straight forward. She then had a month and had to file her reply at the end of March. She keeps saying she can't wait to go back to court which doesn't make any sense. How can she possibly think this will not go against her. Her and her mother are both very spiteful people and it wouldn't shock me if she upset his 4 year old on purpose to cause an argument so that she could do this. She wants him to disappear. She never knew her dad, he disappeared before she was born and although nearly 40 years old she is still totally dependant on her mothers opinion. This must have a factor in the way she behaves.
Thanks for all the advice. He's going to call the court on Monday to explain what has happened see if the hearing can be brought forward a little.
...I doubt the court will bring the date forward to be honest, but its worth a try 🙂
Unfortunately I don't see the Courts bringing the date forward, but do get a copy of her statement.
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