Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Just as an update on my case
She has recently reported the car we shared as stolen and taken me off the insurance certificate. Unfortunately, she now alleges i have also harmed her physically. However, the offices dismissed the line of investigation due to insufficient evidence.
I have spent the night in the jail cell and have no prior records.
I paid the deposit 50 percent for the car and have been paying her monthly payments while she was on paternity. Ironically, as she needed finance the car was on her name..
Hi there
Unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do about it, apart from stop paying the finance for the car.
It's fairly clear that she is preparing for court by making allegations of abuse, this will entitle her to legal aid to pay for a solicitor to represent her in court. If you have read through other people's stories, you will see that is quite a common tactic, used by some mothers to maintain control and stop Dads from full involvement with their child.
How has this affected contact with your child? Has she stopped it? Have a word with your mediator about what has happened, he/she might feel that because of the allegations, mediation is no longer suitable and will sign the form to enable you to take action in court.
Even though no further action was taken by the police, it will be on record and will be discussed in relation to the welfare of the child and any reports that are made for the court.
All the best
I wasn't charged with anything and the police didn't proceed with her accusations.
Will she still get legal aid?
Due to the risks involved in contacted her I have ceased all contact at this point and will not proceed to contact her. i have re-booked a mediation appointment next week.
There's no guarantee with legal aid, she may get it as there are people on here who's ex's have got legal aid pretty much just by alleging abuse, so I think it's a matter of hoping.
Stopping contact with her is a good idea, you'll probably find that the mediator will deem mediation inappropriate and agree to sign off the court application.
As a new father, she will probably try and make the point that you don't know how to look after a baby, it might be a good idea to do a parenting course, if it goes to court it would save time if you can show that you have taken steps to polish up on child care. Some Dads also do a first aid course too. Taking these steps will prove that you're a committed and thoughtful parent.
All the best
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.