[Solved] Shared Residency OR Contact Order?

Don't do in there all guns blazing I'd say go in there with a progressive schedule of contact building up to something you would be happy with and what's best for your child taking into consideration, your needs, your childs needs and the needs of your ex.

In the real world shared care/residency is hard to achieve with work/family commitments and the courts will love to see you taking the needs of your child and the ex into consideration when coming up with a decent schedule of contact from the off and it's always good to ask for more then if you get less you won't be too hard done to.

All the best

Slim 🙂

Would mirror Mr.Slims comments here re: progressive build up of contact.

Not a solicitor or legal professional so please take the following with a pinch of salt. The following is based with heavy weight on my own experience. After my last day in court and having got agreement for overnights, there was then a push by the other side to not have the explicit words shared care included in the agreement. It was advised to me that this was more an effort to limit my ability to claim assistance in a number of areas with my child and home.

It's a shame these games are played during this process, especially if overnights are going to be a part of the final order you're aiming for.

Nonetheless, It's important to have a decent think about how you'd manage share care (as already raised by Mr. Slim) if it all. Your child is what matters most here, so if geography/distance from mother, or even something as simple as difficulty during handover is an issue, then it might be best to take a step back and show how you can make it work over time.

I was happy to continue handovers for a fixed period for me + my ex to start on the communication path, and the majority of future handovers will take place at day care where we don't have to directly interact. It's these type of reassurances that a family court advisor or judge/magistrate would be most interested in seeing (I ultimately left with a shared care agreement by consent).

Whatever happens, primary care does not make you less a father and your rights and responsibilities are the same. Best of luck with the next steps!

Concerned Daddy.

Children's Court Officer has suggested contact order (the days and nights I wanted) simply because she says my ex and I don't get on well enough for shared residency to work.
Shared residency was my preference because mother refers to herself as their main carer or primary carer, leaves me out of decisions, and has withheld contact on a whim.
I'm in court again in Jan but need to make a call soon so as to write position statement.
So shared residency or contact order??

Hi

In the UK - the Child Arrangements Programme (2014) effectively replaced "residence orders" and "contact orders" with the 2-in-1 "child arrangements order" (CAO). A CAO defines where the child will "live" and the contact he/she has with their other parent (typically) - along with nitty-gritty details about holidays, etc.

In relation to "refers to herself as their main carer or primary carer, leaves me out of decisions, and has withheld contact on a whim" it is parental responsibility that confers the ability to be involved in decisions, and be consulted by the other parent, etc - not necessarily a court order.

Of course - you may not have PR - in which case going through court to get this sorted is the right thing.

Hope helps

Hi
I do have PR.

Should have stated. Already have kids every weekend which includes overnight. Used to have them every Wed overnight too until mum threw toys out of the pram and stopped the Weds. Hence going to court. Was having my kids 3 days a week for 2.5 years she cut it down to 2 for no reason (benefits related we think).

Children's officer recommended it go back to as was but by virtue of court order not shared residency due to ex and i not talking at all.

Hi

Shared residency doesn't necessarily mean 50/50 care - if a Child Arrangement Order lays out 'lives with mother on xx days' & 'lives with father on xx days' - that is shared residency.

If a Child Arrangement Order lays out 'child lives with the mother and spends time with the father on xx days' - that is having contact.

Unless you are having shared residency on a 50/50 basis, there's not much difference between the two in terms of legal rights.

I would suggest writing your Position Statement and taking it with you on the day unless you have been ordered to file one by a set date.

You can suggest a progression of contact but state something like 'the eventual order I am seeking is as follows' and then lay out what you would like.

If you're self repping, you can take legal advice on contact vs shared residency here;

http://childlawadvice.org.uk/clas/contact-child-law-advice/