[Solved] SHARED RESIDENCY

Hi

Ultimately, as you say, it's up to the judge, but if your solicitor or barrister aren't putting up a good argument, then the judge isn't getting the full picture, so it is worth considering changing one, or both if you think that they aren't putting your case properly.

im going through the same thing.been to court due to the finical battle which is still going on but i want shared order to be made.after what i have seen of the courts i have decided to do it myself wanting a 50-50 split with my son its a family court so my understanding is say it from the heart and the rest will follow the judges are not stupid.point im trying to make think about doing it yourself least you come away knowing you done all you could do

Hi there

I believe shared residency is exactly what it says and should be as near as [censored] it 50/50....in my opinion. If you already have a contact order for the shared residency and are only getting 4 days a month, then what you need is a Reinforcement Order I think.

The standard contact is usually fri-mon every other weekend and a teatime visit or two every week....so no, you are neither wrong nor unrealistic, that should be the least you should expect. Having Shared Residency would allow for more than the standard, you could ask for as much as half, ie a week with you and a week with the mother.

You went to court, and you were successful in getting shared residency, that tells me that they didnt believe your ex's lies, so try not to worry. Tell the court that you were allowed your son for 8 days so that she could go on holiday, but now she refuses any overnight contact. Tell them how much your son enjoys his time with you and your family, how close you are as a family unit and how your son would only benefit from more contact.

If money is an issue, then its a good idea to represent yourself. Have a good read of the sticky about that at the top of this section, and other threads on here, and gather as much information on what to say and how to say it, and as you acknowledge, it will come from the heart. We can give you help and advice on how to fill in the forms, and you can post what you have written, so that we can give you feedback on it before you send it off.

Good luck with everything.

A shared residency doesn't mean that contact has to be split 50/50. It could be 60/40 or 65/35 or 75/25 or anything really. The significance of a shared residency is that a court recognises that your child has two homes. One with you and one with the mother.

Do you have him alternative weekends? You have the option of applying for a variance to the order to increase contact. Did your barrister manage to negotiate school holidays and special dates? Christmas, birthdays etc?

Did you know that you can represent yourself in court? Lot's of dad's are taking this route, because they simply cannot afford to employ a solicitor. If you don't have legal representation, you would be able to obtain free legal advice from the Coram Children's Legal Centre (CCLC). They a great resource, although they wouldn't be able to represent you in court. Take a look at Yoji's guide to representing yourself in court. You'll find it at the top of the Legal Eagle forum.

There's a link to the CCLC's website at the foot of this page 🙂

My mistake... With a shared residency would there be contact days and times written into it FM?... 4 times a month doesnt seem very much, it hardly warrants the title of shared!!

It does sound quite low. If there's a substantial distance between each home, then that may have been a consideration of the court. It may well be that school holidays and special occasions have been factored into it, but without knowing a little bit more about the situation it's difficult to advise.

My understanding is that contact would be defined within the order. It may well be that this is an interim provision and the court would like to reassess the situation in 6 months time.

I think there's definitely an argument to push for mid week contact. If distance is a key issue, then telephone or Skype contact should be allowed. An adequate share of school holidays is pretty standard, so one would hope that's been factored into the order.

No ,there was no mention of a review in 6 months it is as always she got what she wanted. ON the court order she was instructed to notify the nursery and doctor of my name etc... she did not the court did not do anything i RANG HER TO SEE HOW MY SON WAS (AS HE HAD BEEN IN HOSPITAL FROM 6AM TO 4PM AND SHE ONLY RANG ON HER WAY BACK HOME !) AFTER THE COURT HAD SAID SHE WAS TO NOTIFY ME IF OUR SON WENT TO HOSPITAL, aNYWAY I TEXT HER 3 OR 4 TIME BECAUSE i WAS WORRIED , SHE IGNORED ME SO AS I SAID I PHONED .
She instucted her solictor to warn me off ! ! I wa harrasing her..................... Is trying to find out how my 18 month old son is wrong ? She took me to court over it and I PAID ! !
wE LIVE ABOUT 15 MINUTES APART SO NO THE JUDGE NEED NOT TAKE DISTANCE INTO IT. iAM AVAILABLE TO TAKE MY SON TO NURSERY BUT SHE SAYS NO WAY, i AMAVAILABLE TO HAVE HIM MORE OFTEN SHE SAYS NO WAY .i AM SCARED TO GO TO THE NURSERY IN CASE THEY RING HER AND i WILL BE DRAGGED TO COURT.pEOPLE AND FRIENDS I KNOW JUST CANT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS ALL GOING ON WHEN i HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG EXCEPT SUPPORT AND LOVE MY SON .
tHE jUDGE TOLD ME IT WA SABOUT BONDING WITH THE MOTHER i ASKED HIM ABOUT BONDING WITH THE FATHER , HIS REPLY, SHRUGGED SHOULDERS.
i THINK i AM GOING TO TRY AND REPRESENT MYSELF NOW. tHE lAW IT SEEMS DOES NOT CARE ABOUT THE WELFARE OF MY SON AND THE NEED FOR BOTH PARENTS TO BE A PART OF HIS LIFE. aT THIS i WILL NEVER TAKE HIM ON HOLIDAY , KNOW OR BE APART OF HIS SCHOOL LIFE OR ANYTHING.
i KEEP A DIARY IN THE HOPE IF THINGS DONT WORK OUT HE WILL READ THAT I TRIED MY DAMDEST TO BE A PART OF HIS LIFE. i AM FED UP WITH ALL OF THIS C...THAT I GET FOR TRYING TO BE A GOOD DAD, SO NOW i WILL TRY ANOTHER WAY ,FIGHT FOR HIM IN COURT ALONE. i HAVE WORK AND A LOVING SUPPORTIVE FAMILY BUT AT THE END OF THE DAY IT ALL MEANS NOTHING WITHIUT MY SON.

Have a read of yoji's guide to representing yourself at the top of the legal eagle section as that will help you considerably.