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Hi everyone my first post
My situation is follows:
Back in April we parted after yet another in a long string of affairs.
I've been a househusband and main carer for two kids 8 and 9 for 7 yrs
Soon to be ex wife has worked part time and so I have I too. She did'nt really do housework kids etc
So I have been used to them 7 days a week nearly all their lives.
I own the family property outright solely and she left to rent a place.end April
She decided on the current schedule - I have kids for 4 nights and she for 3. This is how it has been since dday
After obvious initial problems the kids have settled into the routine and although I cannot stand to be breathing
the same air space as her the kids have been more or less okay
She wants £50,000 (she feels thats what she is entitled too ) out of the house but now as the incomes
has diminished I cannot get a 2nd mortgage to give her the funds. She said she'd give me a year to get on my feet
financially so I could get her money and I would keep the house which I m not prepared to sell as it is the kids home and
a wonderful home that I have worked hard for and initially put £80,000 into, although I am told that that money just goes
into the pot if the house is sold. She has contributed to the mortgage over the time
Financially it's very very tight for me but with some help by tax credits and some improved earnings I am covering the cost of
everything - the mortgage is never in arrears
Now she's getting itchy at her rented house and I can see the legal threats are now coming.
From my research I am making some assumptions that hopefully you guys can either confirm or tell me no that's not the case
My position with the house is what ?
I am the main carer for the children established 4 nights per wk and am covering the costs of their home
Will a judge order the house to be sold from under us in order to give her her money from the proceeds or will he, as I have been told
tell her she will have to wait until the kids are 18 before I must sell the property?
Will any judge order us to share the kids on a much stricter 3-1/2 days per week to give her parity of 'time'?
thanks I have been lead to believe that my situation is simply that of a reglar housewife and she would be allowed to stay in the home until they were 18 ? Just need to clarify this before all the sh** starts.
Currently my income doesn't cover the total bills but with the tax credits I can
Should she say "without tax credits he cant pay for to keep the kids on his earning ability alone and therefore should live in a smaller house he can afford thus he should sell the house" ( and she gets her money) would a judge say
'No his earnings and tax credits are all income together and he right now can afford it so you will have to wait until they are 18.'
I would feel more confident if my earnings covered everything and I did not need tax credits (given another 6/9 months I feel I will there) but right now they don't. Would she have an argument that could go against me ?
Hi there
I think you really need to have a Residency Order for your children in place, otherwise you are in whats called Shared Residency and that might be a problem as far as staying in the family home is concerned. I'm not completely sure of this, so perhaps one of the others on here with more experience of this might come along and advise you....hang on in there!
I agree on the residency order. Regarding the house, that's something you need to speak to a family lawyer about - legal aid can take time, so speak to the Citizens Advice Bureau straight away - I would say that you have a good chance of keeping the house, at the very least, you could suggest that your ex's share in the house is worked out as of now, but not realised until the children are 18 and you can sell the house then.
Additionally, as you are the main carer, you should be getting child benefits, tax credits and maintenance from your ex - though it may be worth waiting until you have a residence order before going for the last just in case your ex decides that she wants to become the main carer when she realises the financial implications of you remaining as the parent with care.
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