Separation advice required.

Hi all

I have separated with my wife as things weren't working. It's not been good for a number of years now and I felt I had no choice but to leave the marital home and rent an apartment. The initial knee snap reaction from me was to get divorced but after we both met with our solicitors I'd like to propose another solution, I just need a 2nd opinion  and / or advice regarding my proposal before I speak with my wife.

I placed a £100,000 deposit on our new house which cost £185,000. The deposit was the equity from my previous house which was mine alone. My wife did not put any money into the deposit for the house. My solicitor has advised me to take things slow and talk to my wife about a number of potential solutions including having a break and 'Dating' to see how things go and working out an amicable solution that will suit us both, my solicitor and I are not wanting to jump straight into a divorce and would like to find a solution away from his services and the courts. I have had this conversation with my wife over coffee and as per my solicitors suggestion we talked of a financial separation agreement which would secure both of our savings and pensions. I have £7000 of savings and my wife has £3400. Both of our solicitors have told us that to go to the courts would cost us between £7500 and £15,000 in order to have the courts works things out for us. Obviously my solicitor and I would rather not waste our money in this way (Me and the wife). I have a few pensions with a few thousand pounds in and they are not really worth talking about although I do accept that they would be added to the formula if divorce and the courts are involved. Suffice to say I understand the process fully at this point having seen my solicitor. When I spoke with the wife she agreed to a financial separation agreement but the following day she panicked thinking I was trying to scam her in some way, she called her solicitors who told her 'Do not sign a separation agreement, you want 50% of everything, get us involved and take it to the courts'.

This is quite frustrating for me and my solicitor as we were wanting to work things out between me and the wife and save us thousands of pounds in the process.

I have an idea which I would like to put to the group. I don't want to rush into a divorce and think that there is a way of me and the wife fixing the mess we made within the marriage over time. She has admitted that her behavior has not been good and we had a very open conversation about it and there were tears as I'm sure you'll appreciate. During our chat the wife offered for me to pay less towards the mortage as I am no longer living in the marital home. I would like to take her up on this offer by suggesting I pay less and that we do not divorce in the short term at least, we need to ry and fix this. My idea is for her to stay living in the house, we keep the joint mortgage and we both keep the investment in the house secure. I will still live in my flat and we can meet to walk the dogs and have a coffee to see how things go. My mindset is that I don't want her to have to leave the house in order for us to sell it as I don't want her to lose her home (She made is a home) and have to pull the dogs away from their home into a rented flat or house.

If we divorce she will lose the house as it will need to be sold, she will get 50% of what's left after solicitor and courts fees and we will never see each other again. We are both 54 years old at the moment and I don't think either of us even want to separate. She has told me she loves me and always will but I just don't think we can live together, at least not currently.

I'm hoping someone out there can advise me as to whether the suggestion regarding her staying in the house and us continuing to pay the morgage is a sound solution.

Thank you in advance for any advice given.