[Solved] Self-Representation of a potentially complex case

Hi everybody,

It's been a good few months since I last posted an update about this topic and since then there have been some changes.

Summary:

In summary, after the first hearing mentioned below, CAFCASS came out to speak with my child at her school and also came to speak to me at my home as well as my X partner. Based on the conversation I had with the CAFCASS officer at my home, I knew how the court case would pan out. They obviously look at it from the angle of the child and if they feel that the child is in no immediate danger i.e. a safeguarding concern then it's more than likely the child will not move home.

The section 7 report came back and it said exactly that and asked that an order is put in place so that the child stays living with mum and the agreement that we have in place stays the same with the addition of sharing the holidays and special occasions. A few other things such as 'Not drinking excessively' while in the care of our child was put in the order and also that no bad remarks are made about either parent around our child.

Before attending the courts we were asked to attend a mandatory separated parents class before the hearing. I attended as ordered but found that my ex had not attended and nothing was said apart from "do make sure you attend". However, with everything settled in court now, they wouldn't know otherwise!

My Feelings:

I knew I wouldn't get custody of our child, my ex is good at playing the game when required and she didn't hold back pulling out the stops this time round either. Overall I am happy with the order that has been put in place so that she can not stop me from seeing my child now.

Moving Forward:

Moving forward, I have a new partner, I have done for a while now and she has met my child. We are looking at taking my child on an international holiday this year and this was originally agreed with my ex until today when she found out that my new partner would be coming. After the order was put in place, she mentioned to the CAFCASS officer and myself that she was a little uncomfortable about my child coming on holiday with my new partner. The CAFCASS officer said it's something that you should both talk about and come to some agreement over.

I'm now frustrated because we already agreed on the dates, I've booked the holiday and now my ex throws another spanner in the works. I assume that this is a classic case but wanted to get everybody's opinion on what I should do.

My approach is...the order is now in place, the school holidays are shared. I tell my ex that we already agreed on it and tell her that she can meet my new partner for what it is worth...even though my ex has already bought us both Christmas presents on behalf of my child and told me she doesn't mind me having my new partner around our child. If she disagrees, I assume the only other option I have is to either cancel my child from the holiday or pay AGAIN and take it back to court. Is there any other way?

I feel like it's one step forward and 10 steps back and I'm trying to do everything the right way and I feel it doesn't even matter!

What a pity she's still playing games, I think you're right to try and get her to agree, by suggesting she meets your new partner... it's always better to look for solutions between yourselves.

If that doesn't work, then court would be your next option, it would be so unfair on your child to cancel her ticket and I think there's a principle involved here, if you let your ex take control in this way this time, she's likely to do it again.

Depending on the date of your holiday, you would need to attend mediation to reach agreement, if that failed then it would be an application for a Specific Issue Order (SIO).

If the holiday is a matter of weeks away, there wouldn't be time to go for mediation first, you would then need to make an urgent application for an SIO, in which case mediation can be skipped. This application is made on form C100 and cost £215.

Best of luck

Thanks for your response Mojo.

A few days after this post my x messaged me and said in a nutshell that she knows its not right to stop our daughter going on holiday and said she reacted the way she did because it's all new. She did say she would like to meet my new partner and said that our daughter could go.

I agreed and said when she is ready we can arrange a meetup and also said if she would like any of the details of where we are going on holiday, I'd happily provide that information.

I think it is wise for me to get her to sign a letter that states she is happy with me taking out child away to 'x' destination for 'x' amount of time, this way I avoid any issues.

We shall see what comes of all this in the coming months but hopefully, she has stopped being silly because I would hate for this to end up back in court.

Fingers-crossed

That is good news! Fingers crossed that you can sort this out between you... it’s sounding favourable though.

Good to hear there's been an about turn.

Yes it's important to have that letter with you when you travel and also you might want to carry a copy of your court order.

You should give mum the hotel, flight details etc before you travel. A court would usually expect you to provide that sort of info approx 6 weeks before you're due to travel.

Best of luck