[Solved] Self-Representation of a potentially complex case

Your first position statement should be a very brief outline of why you're making the application and what you would like the court to do.

You don't have permission at this stage to submit evidence, but you can mention in your statement that you have evidence should it be required at the hearing or to submit with a full statement which the court should order.

Cafcass will be in touch shortly and you will have a phone interview with them as will the mother. A safeguarding letter with recommendations to the court will follow.

If you go down the McKenzie Friend route, get someone recommended. It's an unregulated industry, and as such, there are good and bad ones, but you have no protection. It's also important to understand the role of an MF compared to that of a solicitor or barrister.

I would say at this stage, you will be perfectly capable of starting the proceedings as a litigant in person.

Thank you for your response Yoda.

At the end of my statement I have called out the following:

I am looking to become the primary carer of my daughter while allowing the respondent to have unsupervised contact. However, if it is deemed that this won’t be possible I would like to reinstate unsupervised contact with my daughter.

I'm a little unsure about the last sentence because I don't want it to come across to the judge that I would be happy with this because ultimately I would like the prime care of my child.

Would it be better if I took this out?

Thanks for any advice.

It would probably be better just to say something like, if the court finds favour with my application I will do all I can to encourage regular contact with xxxxx. I believe that both parents should be as involved as possible in their childs life.

Sometimes it’s better to drop the legal speak and be a little less formal, call the mother by her name, if you’re not comfortable with first names then Miss/Mrs xxxx is perfectly acceptable.

It would probably be better just to say something like, if the court finds favour with my application I will do all I can to encourage regular contact with xxxxx. I believe that both parents should be as involved as possible in their childs life.

Sometimes it’s better to drop the legal speak and be a little less formal, call the mother by her name, if you’re not comfortable with first names then Miss/Mrs xxxx is perfectly acceptable.

Thank you Mojo, I'll amend my document and have another set of eyes take a look.

Hi all,

Today I had my first hearing.

As I've never been in this situation before, I don't really know what to take away from the hearing.

Overview

- We both spoke with the CAFCASS officer separately before going into court
- The hearing lasted approx 10 mins
- CAFCASS will carry out a section 7
- In the meantime, the days in which I have my daughter have to remain the same
- We both have to attend a separations course

The judge was really nice, but I'm not sure I was able to get my points across. All she really asked was if I see my daughter on the set days I specified and I said yes and that was really it. I didn't get to tell the judge:

- That the reason I brought it to court was because my X broke our personal arrangement and then reinstated it
- I didn't tell the judge that she manipulated my daughter into saying she doesn't want to see me
- I didn't get to give out my Position Statement
- I didn't get to explain my other reasons for bringing it to court

Is this expected?

I did ask about the position statement, however, she said after the section 7 has been carried out I will have the chance to give out my position statement if I don't agree. The judge also asked me if it was true that I suggested my child live with me to which I agreed and that was it, we didn't get into any detail about why I brought it to court.

I guess if this is normal I need to get ready to present my case properly on the next hearing rather than this one. I would hate for this to end with nothing in place but a verbal agreement between myself and X because this is one of the reasons I brought it to court in the first place and so that she can not control when/if I can see my child based on if she is angry with me.

Hi there

Not much happens at the first hearing, and until the welfare reports are in, its quite usual for contact to remain the same.

It would have been better to have given your position statement to the clerk when you arrived and asked them to give it to the judge that was sitting, but not to worry, as the judge has indicated, you’ll get a chance to file one at a later date.

You can share your concerns with the officer that is preparing the Section 7 report, but it’s probably best to be careful about making accusations of manipulation, it would be better to say something like you don’t feel that the mother is encouraging your daughter about contact with you.

All the best

Thanks for responding Mojo.

Ok got you! It makes sense because I read a report that says manipulation is one of the hardest things to prove. I'll raise my concerns by telling them what has happened in the past and let them determine what they feel it is. Hopefully, when they speak to my daughter she tells them of the time/s her mother told her to lie to me.

Hi there

Not much happens at the first hearing, and until the welfare reports are in, its quite usual for contact to remain the same.

It would have been better to have given your position statement to the clerk when you arrived and asked them to give it to the judge that was sitting, but not to worry, as the judge has indicated you’ll get a chance to file one at a later date.

You can share your concerns with the officer that is preparing the Section 7 report, but it’s probably best to be careful about making accusations of manipulation, it would be better to say something like you don’t feel that the mother is encouraging your daughter about contact
with you.

All the best

Exactly! Explain the difficulties you’ve had and leave it to them to draw their own conclusions. Sew the seed and the seed will grow...hopefully.

If she is a good mother and looks after them well, there’s nothing wrong with saying that, it helps to show you have a balanced view. Saying something like... she looks after them well, that’s why it’s all the more perplexing that she doesn’t seem to grasp how important it is to promote and encourage them to have a relationship with me.

All the best

Hi everybody,

It's been a good few months since I last posted an update about this topic and since then there have been some changes.

Summary:

In summary, after the first hearing mentioned below, CAFCASS came out to speak with my child at her school and also came to speak to me at my home as well as my X partner. Based on the conversation I had with the CAFCASS officer at my home, I knew how the court case would pan out. They obviously look at it from the angle of the child and if they feel that the child is in no immediate danger i.e. a safeguarding concern then it's more than likely the child will not move home.

The section 7 report came back and it said exactly that and asked that an order is put in place so that the child stays living with mum and the agreement that we have in place stays the same with the addition of sharing the holidays and special occasions. A few other things such as 'Not drinking excessively' while in the care of our child was put in the order and also that no bad remarks are made about either parent around our child.

Before attending the courts we were asked to attend a mandatory separated parents class before the hearing. I attended as ordered but found that my ex had not attended and nothing was said apart from "do make sure you attend". However, with everything settled in court now, they wouldn't know otherwise!

My Feelings:

I knew I wouldn't get custody of our child, my ex is good at playing the game when required and she didn't hold back pulling out the stops this time round either. Overall I am happy with the order that has been put in place so that she can not stop me from seeing my child now.

Moving Forward:

Moving forward, I have a new partner, I have done for a while now and she has met my child. We are looking at taking my child on an international holiday this year and this was originally agreed with my ex until today when she found out that my new partner would be coming. After the order was put in place, she mentioned to the CAFCASS officer and myself that she was a little uncomfortable about my child coming on holiday with my new partner. The CAFCASS officer said it's something that you should both talk about and come to some agreement over.

I'm now frustrated because we already agreed on the dates, I've booked the holiday and now my ex throws another spanner in the works. I assume that this is a classic case but wanted to get everybody's opinion on what I should do.

My approach is...the order is now in place, the school holidays are shared. I tell my ex that we already agreed on it and tell her that she can meet my new partner for what it is worth...even though my ex has already bought us both Christmas presents on behalf of my child and told me she doesn't mind me having my new partner around our child. If she disagrees, I assume the only other option I have is to either cancel my child from the holiday or pay AGAIN and take it back to court. Is there any other way?

I feel like it's one step forward and 10 steps back and I'm trying to do everything the right way and I feel it doesn't even matter!

What a pity she's still playing games, I think you're right to try and get her to agree, by suggesting she meets your new partner... it's always better to look for solutions between yourselves.

If that doesn't work, then court would be your next option, it would be so unfair on your child to cancel her ticket and I think there's a principle involved here, if you let your ex take control in this way this time, she's likely to do it again.

Depending on the date of your holiday, you would need to attend mediation to reach agreement, if that failed then it would be an application for a Specific Issue Order (SIO).

If the holiday is a matter of weeks away, there wouldn't be time to go for mediation first, you would then need to make an urgent application for an SIO, in which case mediation can be skipped. This application is made on form C100 and cost £215.

Best of luck

Thanks for your response Mojo.

A few days after this post my x messaged me and said in a nutshell that she knows its not right to stop our daughter going on holiday and said she reacted the way she did because it's all new. She did say she would like to meet my new partner and said that our daughter could go.

I agreed and said when she is ready we can arrange a meetup and also said if she would like any of the details of where we are going on holiday, I'd happily provide that information.

I think it is wise for me to get her to sign a letter that states she is happy with me taking out child away to 'x' destination for 'x' amount of time, this way I avoid any issues.

We shall see what comes of all this in the coming months but hopefully, she has stopped being silly because I would hate for this to end up back in court.

Fingers-crossed

That is good news! Fingers crossed that you can sort this out between you... it’s sounding favourable though.