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Hello,
I am new to the forum and I am seeking some advice from people who have mane gone or are going through a similar experience.
I split up from my ex partner almost 4 years ago and we’ve had a plan in place whereby I see my daughter every weekend, Saturday night through to Monday morning, where I drop my daughter off at school/nursery.
This plan hasn’t pretty much been in place since we separated and although we are OK most of the time, there are times where she is horrible to me and over the past few years, it’s become very apparent that I don’t feel like I’m spending enough time with my daughter.
I have asked on numerous occasions for more access to my daughter and each time it’s been refused for the reason it will disrupt her routine. I am asking for one extra night through the week. Again, it just keeps being refused.
Her suggestion is that after 4 years, we swap to alternating weekends, which just don’t work for me as I couldn’t go that long without seeing my daughter. The bond we have as father and daughter is amazingly and she absolutely loves spending time with me. She has openly said, in front of both me and my ex partner that she wants to see more and that she doesn’t want to leave my house when being picked up. I have always been there for my daughter, I always will be. I have never not been there when my time comes.
I have also been told by my partner that I will never spend a Christmas morning with her as her and her family will always have Christmas morning with her. I have always picked her up mid afternoon on Christmas Day and have been told this year it’s going to change and she will have her the full day. It’s not fair and I feel like I am in a dictatorship. I have been told that I am only allowed to FaceTime my daughter each night at a certain time before bed, when she is most tired.
I have attended a mediation session which my ex failed to attend and I am now in the process of submitting my c100 form to the courts. I am no position to appoint a solicitor as I am unable to afford one.
I am just wondering if anyone can offer any advice? Has anyone gone through a similar experience and what was the outcome? I am so scared about submitting it but I have no other choice than to do so.
Thank you.
You had a good four years of time with your daughter and that should count for a lot in court but the reality is that it's sometimes a lottery.
you're in a position that many of us here are in or have been in, we all want more time with our children and would do anything to have that precious time with them, we are at the will of our ex's as to what time they will "allow" us with our children.
from my experiences, what your ex is offering you with regards to alternate weekends and shared holidays is pretty much the "expected" minimum the courts suggest, i say "expected" as courts prefer you to agree between you more time than the minimum suggested.
where you can't agree then the court can step in, however, i'll not bullsh*t you, you could face a potential nightmare and end up with less than you have now.
If you dare to challenge your ex (apply to court for defined contact) what will she do?
- She sees how serious you are and agrees to compromise and you sit down and work a workable plan for more contact which suits you both
or
- She sees it as a direct challenge against her (not that you actually only want more time with your child!) contact gets stopped as soon as she gets the court application until she's told by court to re-instate it?
For many of us in that situation here we have seen the latter and much worse! Fingers crossed for you either way!
What you're suggesting with regards to more time sounds reasonable, your child sounds like she wants it too, but your ex reducing it from over 104nights per year to around 52 nights to me (a very cynical suspicious person these days) sounds more like she's financially motivated to reduce your time as you would be expected to pay more in maintenance....again maybe i'm too suspicious of these stories of reducing a fathers time with their children being "in the childs best interest" as some come out with.
I could of course be wrong, she could simply wish to have some weekends with your child too, afterall if your child is at school age then her mother will only get weekday evenings and no weekends on your current arangement and then school holidays.
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