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Hi all, OK so a bit of a undate about my son first, if some of you remember I went to mediation in December and I basically got everything I asked for. Four weeks today I've been seeing my beautiful son nearly every day, we've been on adventures and playing football, making things in my workshop. We've bonded really well, we talk on the phone all the time and send funny voice messages on WhatsApp, I couldn't possibly wish for a better son!! He's perfect.
Now onto my daughter. I was supposed to be in court late January, my solicitor had one job and that was to submit the C100 forms in within seven days, oh no they couldn't even get this right!!
So after a lengthy conversation with her I've got rid.
I've had my cafcass phone interview, and I pretty much expected most of the [censored] (it's in the non molestation order) with a few additional added devil points mind, apparently I'm a heavy drinker and drugs are my second name also I've sexualy abused my ex, (made me laugh this) oh and I've threatened to kill my own daughter. All just to try and cover up her real reason, and that's because she left me for a drug dealer, how ironic!!
So in less than a week I go to court, on me tod, with only hope that I might be able to get a glimps of my beautiful daughter.
Oh well if she turns up!! After three court attempts in a court ordered DNA test she still hasn't seen the courts!!
Any advice on going alone will be much appreciated chaps / ladies.
Many thanks
Hi There,
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Going through court alone can be daunting, but it has it's pluses, the judge gets to see you for who you are, and not hear what you have to say through your solicitor which gives them a better understanding of your emotional involvement.
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Just make lots of notes to take with you and reference too throughout the hearing and keep calm, if you get rattled, take a few seconds to compose yourself a good trick is to have a bottle water on the table (screw cap) having a drink should give you enough time to compose yourself and reply calmer than if you just answered straight off.
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GTTS
First hearings don't usually drag on too much, the CAFCASS adviser may try and get some agreement in place before going into the court room, that is if she turns up! If she's a no show they may well adjourn and set another date, but if she's been absent 3 times previously, they may decide to go ahead. If that's the case they're likely to order a more indepth report, called a Section 7 and it's possible they will want you to take a drug test before the next hearing. I would advise that you keep your expectations in check, they may not agree to contact straight away... courts are cautious where there have been allegations made.
It might be helpful to prepare a brief position statement to take with you to the hearing, just a bit of background, any concerns and what you'd like the court to do.
All the best
Certainly keep expectations in check. In his, very similar experience, the first hearing consisted of not very much. The judge asked his ex if she agreed to contact, she said no, the judge said she could do nothing, Cafcass were asked to do an S7. He self represented back then but must have been unlucky judge wise (I guess having no judicial continuity didn’t help) as none of them gave him any help or appeared sympathetic. Most just seemed to talk down at him and believe ex that he was a drunk, drug taking, domestic abuser. He’s done all the tests and courses and had to pay for them. My tips would be if you get a good judge try to keep him/her. Court directions are sometimes hard to work out, ask here if you need help. Be very careful with Cafcass, his officer seemed sympathetic but submitted a terrible S7 complete with errors and assumptions that he couldn’t get corrrected as she submitted it too late. If you are expecting something from them make sure you chase for it. Keep on top of the court admin team, delays in getting orders stamped and posted out have extended his case unnecessarily.
Good luck
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