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hi there ive got a problem and i wonder if anyone can advise me the best action to take.
I have 2 kids that up until today i was seeing every other weekend from saturday to sunday. It was always made difficult by my kids mum in different ways through out the last 3 years from telling me because they have a party to go to i cant see them, to teling my now partner that she has things to tell her that will split us up (never knew where that was going as my partner knows everything about my ex and why we split etc)
Things got so bad that we agreed to stop seeing eachother and that the kids would be dropped off to my grandad and i would take them to her sister the following day. It seemed perfect but soon went sour when she would be late every time and then decided i should be doing both journeys. After getting some legal advice i was told the journeys should be 50/50 so i explained this and it carried on as it was before. she then fell pregnant and her partner decided she would no longer be making the 20 minute train journey and i would have to do both journeys which i refused. My kids grandad (her dad) then said he would bring them for her. Again the lateness was carrying on to the point when he was turning up 2 hours late. Everytime i had to drop them off it was to a different place normally a pub but i felt my hands were tied as i could no longer stand to see my kids mum.
Today at 10.15 already 15 mins late i called my kids grandad to ask where he was and got told he was just leaving meaning he was set to be an hour late again. After a dispute and being told he was doing me a favor i explained hes doing a favor for his daughter he said he wont bring them at all then.
so now i am not seeing my kids.
This may seem reallly petty but if i give in and do both journeys whats the next demand? how far does it go? it is fair on my partner and step-son that we never really know whats going on?
There are other things too such as not being allowed to see my sons school report and my daughter coming down with severe sores on her [censored] that lasted for 7 weeks! but when i contacted her doctors to see if she had been to see them as her mum had told me they said they could not tell me.
All i want now is a regular place to pick up and drop off my kids at the same time every other week. I want my kids to come to me looking clean and in good health not late every time with sore bums and un-cut nails and hair.
Whats the best thing to do here? I think a solicitor is the only way and to get an arangement on paper. Is this easy?
Hi Rick.....
It's really hard when you get to this point and communication breaks down.
Travel - this is a very grey area. There are no laws as to who undertakes which travel, unfortunately it is usually the non resident parent that does most of the travel. If you were in court you can ask a judge to decide but they generally only order shared travel if it's in the best interests of the child.
If you feel that communication has broken down to the point that you are considering court, you would first have to attend mediation, this has been compulsory since April. If your ex refused to attend or you were unable to reach agreement then the mediators would stamp a C100 form for you so that you can apply to court. Court is always a last resort and should be avoided where possible but sometimes it's just the only option left.
You don't have to use a solicitor if you decide to take this route, there's lots of advice in the stickys at the top of the legal eagle section. Plenty of Dads on here self represent and it's not as daunting as it seems.
WIth regard to medical and educational info, here's a link about PR that you might find useful
http://www.thecustodyminefield.com/flapp/prmenu.html
Hopefully, mediation might work for you both. Good luck 🙂
Some good advice given by 1626... Hopefully mediation would enable you to resolve the issues you are having.
thats great advice thaks alot for your help ill look into the mediation right away.
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