[Solved] Section 7 not looking good

Hi, no idea was triple P is. im going for SPIP separated parents class this week. referred by cafcass so free. can you pls give us some background to your case?

looked it up:

Positive parenting program

TRIPLE P ONLINE (FOR TODDLERS TO TWEENS)
can help you:

Encourage good behaviour
Manage misbehaviour
Settle tantrums
Tackle disobedience
Teach your child new skills
Take the stress out of shopping

TRIPLE P ONLINE (FOR PRE-TEENS AND TEENS)
can help you:

Build a stronger relationship
Negotiate boundaries and expectations
Deal calmly with conflict
Survive the emotional rollercoaster
Prepare for risky situations
Equip them to handle life’s problems

one site charging £70 for 8 modules. ask cafcass if they can refer you for free?

Here’s a link to find courses in your area

https://www.triplep-parenting.uk.net/uk-en/about-triple-p/positive-parenting-programme/

You could check if your local council offers classes, or as Bill suggests, ask for the. Our to refer you.

I can’t say I’ve had much experience of these courses, I’ve used the search tab at the top of the page to search for previous posts, but there’s not much about it on here. I’m sure you’ll find plenty of info on their website though.

Best of luck

I just had a quick look back at your previous posts... I’m sorry you’ve had such a struggle to see your kids... If things don’t go well, I would still suggest that you ask for a family assistance order.

You could also mention the high conflict pathway, but if they’re denying PA they may not see a reason to pursue it.

Don’t give up hope, if you get no direct contact, push for indirect contact with assistance from CAFCASS or through a family assistance order, to make sure the children are receiving your letters etc..and ask for the case to remain open and for a review hearing in six months to look at the situation again.

All the best and please do let us know how you get on on Friday.

Thanks for your replies. In summary, the children have been alienated from me over the previous 9 months whilst going through this process. I do not blame them for this as they are clearly committed to their mother. I have never at any point lowered myself to the point of bad mouthing her to CAFCASS or at any other point in the case - this has clearly not worked well. Her allegations, which are false, may as well be true and CAFCASS clearly have no intention of trying to understand why she may have taken the steps to make up such lies.

Going forward, I feel the best thing to do is go along with CAFCASS recommendations which are likely to be attending a parenting course and hopefully they will see that I am willing to work for a relationship with my kids and allow for some form of contact in the near future, direct or indirect.

The funniest thing about this whole parenting course? I am a full time teacher and have worked with children for the last five years, having studied at postgraduate level to get to this point

.. whilst going with the CAFCASS recommendations and working with them is something I would advise, I do think it’s important that you try and make a strong case for direct contact regardless... recommendations are a guide and not written in stone.

You can state that you respect the report but that indefinite, indirect contact would send the wrong message to the children. That you feel contact could be reintroduced gently with a short period of indirect contact and then supervised contact centre sessions, to allow a report to done showing how you and the children interact, with a hearing in 6 months to review and hopefully progress. This would fit well with the role of a family assistance order. Don’t lose hope.

Best of luck

Got the written report through this afternoon. The recommendations include attending a parenting programme and writing a letter of apology to the kids (still deny all allegations, but going to do as they say) BUT they do recommend supervised contact. The findings admit some evidence of alienation which I am happy about

How often do the court ignore Cafcass recommendations? If I come out of my hearing on Friday with supervised contact then I would see that as a win - what a difference 9 months make! I started this process because I wasn't happy with my one day a fortnight!

What if the kids don't want to cooperate with supervised contact, or can she argue against it in the next hearing? I just want the court to see I am doing everything to cooperate and just want to see my boys

Ah not quite as bleak as you thought, good news.

All I can say is that courts will always want to facilitate contact with both parents, if CAFCASS have recommended supervised contact, then the odds are in your favour that the court would go with that.

It might help to look into local contact centres, find out if there’s a waiting list for a space etc. Here’s a link to the main contact centre website, where you should be able to find out about facilities in your area.

www.naccc.org.uk

Children will often tell the resident parent what they think they want to hear, it could well be the case that the children will be happy to see you again, just be happy to see them, thoughtful in your approach and keep it all very light.

She may well try and argue against it, just as you are entitled to push for it, at least the report is on your side in this respect.

It might also be a good idea to draft the letter to your children, if the court orders it you can then say that you have one prepared in the event it was agreed.

If the court want to close the case, I would ask for the case to remain open, so that they can read the reports of how the contact went (if supervised is ordered) , if contact is favourable, it can be be progressed at the next review hearing. Hopefully, you won’t need to do that, the court will lay out a defined schedule of how contact will progress through the different stages and list further hearings.

All the best

Thanks again Mojo, can I ask one more thing?

Can I present a letter or statement to the court upon my arrival? I would like to put it across that since reading the section 7 I understand that the children are central to this case and that I want to move on with their recommendations, despite my disagreement with the allegations made in her statement. I have already used my initiative to make arrangements to attend the parenting course from this week and I want them to know this. I also have drafted a letter to the boys, as recommended by CAFCASS, and want to provide this to the court in advance.

Appreciate your thoughts

Chris

I think you’re actions speak loudly of your desire to put things back on track, it shows you’re willing to do whatever it takes to be in your children’s lives and are willing to work with the recommendations.

I think it would be useful to the court if you provide a brief two page position statement, or a letter, if preferred, to tell them of the developments in your case, just remember to have copies for the other parties involved.

You don’t need to harp on about what has been said previously, it’s all about moving it forward at this point.

All the best

chris great news with the report 🙂 is it the SPIP separated parents programme they recommended or the PPP? i took SPIP the other day. was pretty useful. main message was about not alienating kids and not putting them in the crossfire. the course organisers will inform the court that you attended, and i did see a lot of box-ticking. they want to see active participation.

I had my 2nd hearing the other week, after my S7 report came out. had to prepare a 2 page (max) response to the report. basically wrote that im happy with all the recommendations, but asked for extra; mid-week contact. barrister also did position statement for me. its not over. going for final hear in under 2 weeks...