[Solved] Second hearing. Preparing paperwork

Hopefully others with more court experience will pop along (may be a day or two) My feeling is that you take all evidence that you can, on the basis that if you don't need it, then it's of no consequence, but the worst thing is to find you need something and you don't have it to hand.

Did they ask for a statement pabz? You can usually attach your evidence to that and write about events that you want to let the court know about and what the evidence is in relation to that.

It's great that you have started contact, it's usual for this to be in a contact centre when there has been allegations made. It sounds like you are having supported contact rather than supervised contact and that tells me the court don't consider you a serious risk, otherwise they would have asked for it to be supervised one to one and a report provided by the contact centre staff.

Try to rise above her allegations and concentrate on providing the court with reassurances that your daughter will be well provided for when she is with you. And how important it is for your daughter to be allowed quality time with you and her wider family who love and care for her very much.

It might be helpful to prepare a schedule of increasing contact to show the court that you are thoughtful to your daughters needs and able to put her best interests at the centre of all your decisions and actions.

Best of luck

Hey guys,
Thanks for responding. This place is just awsome.
I been telling few friends that have similiar issues to come on here.
No one knows about this place. The ones i asked. Which i find hard to beleive. Just so thankful i found dad.info....

Yh im at a contact centre and theres no supervised contact which im very happy about.
Also the court only askes us to sort contacts centres straight way in which i did. And after a week i seen my beautiful daughter.
And the other thing was go to an SPIP in which i booked on the same day of the court and i already attended.

I do want to some how show court in a good way that contact centre is not great for me and my daughter.
Its a great place but also very un safe. Just too over crowed bigger kids running around with lots of tos all over the floor. To a point where theres no place to put your feet on the floor.
And i dont feel its a father and daughter place.
Litle likes the place but i think she enjoys all the toys and other kids there.
I would prefer going to park together.
Playing at home with toys.
More of a together thing.
Not sure how to put that across and not look like a bad person.

I know my ex doesn't want any of my family to be involved with daughter at all.

Once again
Thank you so much

Well done on doing the SPIP. It seems you are doing all the right things.

I would not overly worry about telling the Court what you think about contact centre (CC). It is a "given" that this is "less than optimal" for the child-parent relationship - but as mojo says, it is quite normal when allegations are made.

*Keep It Child Centred*
The way I would approach this is to show the Court that you understand how the CC facilitates the child's relationship with you (notice that I am saying the child's relationship with you - not the other way around). While this is not ideal for either the child or parent - you hope to move to a schedule of increased contact as soon as is possible - again - for the benefit of the child.

Regarding "ex does not want any of my family involved"...

In law, the child has a right to a relationship with both parents (and to be included in their wider life e.g. new partners, grand parents, etc) as long as they do not threaten the welfare of the child. This, importantly includes the child's mother (or other parent). This is why it is very important to not fall into the trap of being goaded in to "banging on endlessly" to Court how terrible your ex is, what a poor parent she is, how awful she has been to you, etc. The Court could conclude that you do not intend to support the child forming/maintaining a relationship with your ex. (I totally understand that you may feel your ex is trying to stop/hinder the child forming a relationship with you - but remember - two wrongs do not make a right - and especially so in the Family Court).

So the tone should again be child centric:
"While I appreciate [my ex] may have very strong personal feelings about restricting [my child's] contact and relationship with my family, I do not feel this is in the best interests of [the child]. Previously, [my child] has enjoyed a good relationship with [uncle, aunt, grandmother, etc, etc] and has enjoyed their care and support. While I understand the need to initiate contact via a CC, I hope to move to a schedule of increased contact outside of the CC - in the best interests of [the child].

The Court is only really interested in "child-centric" issues - and the parents only in as far as they meet (or not) the child's needs and welfare.

Hope that helps

Some great advice from Tash therepabz .... really good to see you around the forum again Tash!

Some great advice from Tash therepabz .... really good to see you around the forum again Tash!

Thanks Mojo - it is good to be back from my hiatus!

Good to see you are still assisting and advising!

Thank you for feed back.
I do feel me and ex are alot better now we are communicating alot trough email.
And it looks like its going the right way.

I never hidden the fact the ex is a great mother and in first hearing i told the court exactly that.

But thank you so much about CC and it makes alot of sence and the right way to go about it.

Ex did mention on the c1a that herself and daughter suffered emotional, psychological abuse.

Saying things like she was told what to do, think, act and she felt into depression from such things.
which is un true.
About litle one EX says we were trying to decide her religion and language.
I did want to baptise our daughter and i still dont see anything wrong with that.
And language we/ more me i want her to learn and be able to speak my first language of course i want her to learn english first and be confident with it.
And i didnt want our daughter to learn my first language after 6months like she says.
Again i dont see in what way thats a bad thing.

I tough both are great things for our daughter.

Thank you once again
Have great day

Great advice from mojo and THL

Keep posting and we will do what we can to assist you

THL,it's good to have you back, your maintenance advice is always great, thank you!

Hi there im abit stuck on one thing and i dont know if anyone could help me with it.

I been seeing little one at CC every saturday when im off from work. For 2hrs

And ex then asked me if i wanted to go to a soft play in another day during our days off.
In which i said yes and have been doing that.

So i see her twice a week most weeks now.

I want to create a schedule where is gives our daughter a base and a healthy routine.

Me and my ex both work 3 days on then 3 days off.
When i work 3 day shift, ex will be doing 3 night shifts.
We work opposite shifts.
And every 5 to 6 sets we get 9days off or 15 days off.

I was thinking everytime we off for 3days the middle one i could have daughter overnight.
But that means more hours that day but seeing her once a week amd every now and then it will work out twice a week.
Due to 3days in 3days off.

And when i will have 9/15 days off i could have daughter for 2 overnights instead of one.

But i dont know if thats the best way to go about it.

Also wanted to ask for weekends away. Because our shifts rotate we will get weekends off.not always. But maybe if first weekend ex has our daughter. Next weekend off i can have her.
Plus i wanted to mention about her birthday, easter, xmas.

Im not sure how to add all that to a schedule.
I have a work rota for the whole year so i know exactly when im off.
So that helps.

Anyone got any ideas?

Thanks in advance

you could draw up a schedule yourself first. Mark off the days that you don't want to move (ie holidays where you have to book somewhere) and be prepared to be flexible on others, and then descuss it with your ex and see where you get to.

Thanks i been looking into putting all dates for the whole year on it straight away.