[Solved] Second hearing and unexpected result.

Hi there

Courts take the safety of children very seriously and therefore they have to take a cautious approach when there have been serious allegations made. Their only priority is the safety of the child and so this is why they will always take this position until the allegations can be. Resolved.

A consent order is still legally binding, all court orders are, but don't accept less than you would be happy with. As a minimum you should be looking at a schedule of contact that progresses over a six month period to weekends, with overnight stays and a midweek contact visit too.

It difficult when an ex is prone to making allegations, just be aware that she has the potential to,cause more trouble and try not to put yourself in a position where she is able to. For handovers, when they apply, meet in public place, or take a friend with you, don't respond to any nasty texts or emails with the same, or send her any texts as she can claim you are harassing her, better to go through her solicitor.

You are making progress and although the process is slow you are on your way to getting your relationship with your child back on track...patience is your ally right now.

All the best

I was thinking of only saying texts for emergency and to meet in local supermarket car park where there cctv. I really cannot risk not being safeguarded from further allegations.

I can't see a fair arrangement being struck in terms of a consent order but will however see how things progress and I'm only looking for alternative weekends and one weekday early evening for Couple hours so don't think I'm asking to much but will see.

Thanks again Mojo and look forward to ended this with a positive final post.

Hi there,

As mojo has said the courts will look at the safety of the children first, if you have agreed to a drug test and doctors assessment then in my view you have done things the right way, get them sorted asap go through the contact centre and then go back to court, I agree that a public meeting place would be best to protect you, and with what you are asking for it all seems very reasonable.

Good luck and keep us posted

GTTS

hows things going mr b,

Sorry for late reply I've only just read this.

I've had my second hearing and contact has regularly progressed. I went to the contact centre first then after second hearing I have 6hrs every other sat/sun and 2hrs on a weekday.

Final hearing approaching and the judges asked for us to try sort our issues and work towards a possible concent order. I tried this recently and this was met with allegations of harassment and saying that my son is traumatised and contact should not go forward. It seems a Leppard don't change its spots and she going to be a nightmare to the finish which is stupid because her and her family are really struggling with the legal costs but she can't sit at a table and talk like adults without being completely unreasonable or realistic.

We no longer communicate which is a shame but final hearing in October where I'm hoping to get what I was after from the start.

Thanks

It is a shame, but you can't put yourself in a position where you could be accused of harassment. It might be useful to suggest to her solicitor that you introduce a communication book that stays with your child, you can both use it to mention anything concerning your child, so that there's a line of communication between you.

It would also be helpful for the court if you were to prepare a brief position statement that you can take to the next hearing with you, you can then explain that you have made an attempt to try and sort out the issues, but you were accused of harassment and chose not to make any further attempts, for fear of an injunction being raised against you. You could also mention how important a line of communication is and that you tried to have a communication book introduced and what the outcome of that was.

All the best

Thank you for your reply.

I really would like to try avoid a communication book as I think that is ridiculous co parenting but I totally understand how they are required and definitely not rule it out with my ex because of how unpredictable her behaviour is. I'm going to just carry on picking him up and let the dust settle for a bit and see how it goes. I know her and her family are struggling with the legal costs and it's in her interest to try come to an arrangement but I won't count my chickens.

I might try one last time at my door under camera later down politely if she willing to sit down somewhere public or would be willing to take a letter of my suggestions and come back to me with what she thinks on the paper and see how it goes. It's a joke really how much I have to tread on eggshells for something that most adults can do and Co parent but let's face it anyone who been through the court process does not have a simple run.

Thanks again Gents.