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Hi dad.info i had my second hearing yesterday it went very well may i say.
Always be nice to everyone including the other party.
Keep it 100% child focused
And i find body language very important.
I been representing myself from the start and i didnt know anything. With alot of help from here and reading about every detail. I seem to be doing very well indeed.
Anyone can do it, just takes love and care and obviously hardwork.
I was seeing my daughter at a C.C for 2hrs once a week.
And then ex asked me if i wanted more time with daughter at a soft play. In which i accept and said thank you.
In the second hearing i came up with a base and schedule for my daughter as a bench mark and i expressed how im open to changing dates and times to suit daughter and mothers best needs.
And asked for overnight stay.
In which she agreed but to start first with 6hrs in a day for 3months then moving to overnight if everything was ok.
But that came to a stop as ex doesn't want any of my family involved what so ever.
So as court couldn't make any decision and didn't know where to go with it.
I said im happy to not let my family see my daughter till next court date. But that i want my daughter to have a relationship with her paternal family.
So now i will have my daughter every 4 days for 6hrs at my house.
But my ex didnt mention anything about my partner and she realised after court.
Now im getting threatening emails saying if i dont send my partner away for them 6hrs that she will not let my daughter come and see me.
That would be going against court order.
If she doesn't drop my daughter at my house.
What are my options?
And i need to create a statement about everything and to talk about my family explaining why i think they should be involved.
After all im quite happy with outcome and showing great improvement.
Next hearing its a final hearing, where unfortunately the court will decide my litle girls future due to some ex with deep insecurities about herself and alot of bitterness.
Thanksss
She didn't mention this in court, so she is in breach if contact doesn't go ahead as ordered. I would contact the judge who was at the hearing yesterday, either by email or letter. State that your ex is now being obstructive about your partner, which wasn't brought up at all during the hearing, and is refusing to allow contact to go ahead as ordered at your home, unless your partner leaves prior to contact and stays away for the duration of the contact time, which you feel is unreasonable. Attach a copy of the threatening emails and ask the judge for an urgent return to court for new directions concerning this matter.
It sounds like you have a good handle on your case. Best of luck.
Thanks mojo
Ex is also asking to check my house to see of its all safe for our daughter.
In which i said no.
But i just want to see my daughter so i said i let her check on first time she comes here and thats it.
I know im letting her getting all her way and it does upset me.
But for my daughter.
The priority is your daughter, so I think what you have agreed is the sensible way through this, it will get you contact more quickly, and it shows the court you aren't digging your heels in for the sake of it - it's a fine line and I think you're on the right side of it.
Thanks
I have been taking alot of [censored].
But last hearing soon.
I just need to focus on my daughter .
And i need to do a good personal statement.
I could do with someone having a look at it when i finish.
If thats not asking much.
Just quick question.
Ex did an statement for the last hearing, with 28 points why im bad and my family even worst.
On my statement do i respond to them alegations.
Or should i just keep it to what i think its best for my daughter, to plan to see her more often, and just small mention about denying what she says.
That must have been a lengthy statement if it had 28 points in it!
It depends on what the points were, whether they were just petty, if you have evidence to disprove them and whether they were dealt with at the last hearing.
Staying completely child focussed is the best advice I can give and your statement should predominantly reflect that, leave the nastiness to her and rise above it. There are lots of reasons why interaction with a child's wider family, on both sides, is in the child's best interests. It gives a child a sense of belonging and helps them to develop socially. If you have a different culture from your ex then it's important the your child learns about both too.
I'd be happy to take a look at your finished statement pabz.
Thanks mojo.
I will keep that all in mind and i will work on my statement
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