[Solved] safeguarding concerns for my son help

Hi there

I'm so sorry to hear your little boy is having such a hard time....it's so much more difficult when they are young and can't speak up for themselves...even then it can be a hard task getting the authorities to listen.

Up to now you have done everything you should do to try and protect him, by contacting the police and Social services. When there's a case going through the family court, there is a danger that the authorities will read natural concern as some agenda to undermine the mother....it's a fine line. Of course you should continue to report it, but do so in a measured, calm way without losing your cool or making accusations....just share your concerns and carry on login incidents as they arise.

You could call the NSPCC helpline and share your concerns with them and certainly bring CAFCASS up to speed with what has been happening...but calmly and reasonably....state that you know that children will have accidents and try not to point the finger, present them with the facts and allow them to draw their own conclusions....that's all you can do at this point really.

Unfortunately many children will get distressed at hand overs, especially the younger they are, often the professionals will not read as much into this....just keep chipping away and hopefully it will get investigated during the court process.

It might be helpful to prepare a brief position statement for the hearing, you can go into a little more detail about your concerns then.

Your little boy is picking up your anxiety, hence why he is initiating conversations about being smacked and shouted at....try to calm this down, for his sake, easier said than done i know, but it will help him deal with this situation better. Just give him lots of reassurance and try and get him away from the subject by engaging him with things he enjoys.

All the best

thanks for the reply

I have reported it to the police and they referred to childrens services who took no action other than record it. ...not even to speak to mother as far as i know. I mean i dont know any other kids of my sons age amongst friends/family/neighbours who have sustained say a burn or that many cuts and bruises in that amount of time,.

Other than saying keep logging any incidents, they couldnt do anything . (basically they meant do our job for us, and if it gets serious we will take over), by which case it will be too late and the damage will be done. The child will no doubt have suffered both emotionally and physically to the point it will take a toll on the rest of their lives.

so in essence, there is no real hope, and i should just hope and pray that he doesnt get hurt seriously
The authorities (which us as tax payers fund) wont do anything because rather than look into the matter they simply brush such reports off as attempts to undermine the care of the mother., until another child falls victim and is added to the "we failed this child" list

I will raise my concerns and report the injuries/behaviour to Cafcass when they contact me regarding the enforcement and see if they take any notice , but to be honest i doubt it.

..I know it sound hopeless, but children's services have had to deal with cuts and funding and like all of the other social care agencies they are struggling... And the people that suffer are the young, old and the vulnerable.

It might be worth going to see your MP, although with an ongoing court case they may not be able to intervene....still worth a shot though.

I would contact NSPCC they will also feedback to social services. If he presents with further injuries, I would also consider taking him along to A&E with your concerns, share the past history with them, they can then get child protection involved.....as I said just keep chipping away and hopefully it will start to turn in your child's favour.

Best of luck

I know it seems hopeless and with a very young child it's hard to prove things. By keeping a log you are doing the right things and I agree with Mojo that it's definitely worth speaking to NSPCC and attending A&E if there are future incidents.

hi chaps

thanks for the support

I followed your advice and rang the nspcc , the lady on the phone made a record of all details as ive mentioned above and they asked me to send in pics via email of all the injuries/marks ive noticed on him.
she also noted the fact that recently he tells me his mum hits him (every time i pick him up for the past 4 weeeks)
So ive just finished doing that and lost track of how many there had been, i counted pics and it came to a total of 10 injuries/marks in the past year ranging from grazes to bridge of nose, bruises to legs /back of thigs/shins, grazes to central spinal area (strange place), burns to palm and finger tips to name a few.

surely 10 in the space of a year isnt right average 1 a month?...considering ive seen him almost every weekend for a year now and hes never actually injured him self to the point its left a mark or bruise on him...

Hopefully this will help to highlight your child's situation....even if his injuries are accidental, I agree that the regularity of such accidents can only point to neglect, inasmuch as he is not being adequately supervised or protected. He's still very young and children of his age group do need to be watched over to avoid them hurting themselves.

Best of luck and well done for sticking at it, someone must listen and step up sooner or later....let's hope it's sooner.

thanks for the support.

I too am hopeful, but dont really have a faith in the system that should be there to protect children.
Nspcc where excellent and said they did think it was a safeguarding issue hence took all the details but childrens services due to their reputation of being utterly useless will probably just file it away.

I also spoke to a friend who is a paramedic and showed them pictures he said from his experience the authorities will put it down to accidental injuries (even though the underlying cause could well be neglect) he said if for instance the burn had occured more than once then it may ring some alarm bells. He said the bruises/grazes are clear to see however he said from his point there is a difference in the severity of a bruise eg the blacker it is the harder the blow etc. so they will most likely overlook them too.

He also mentioned that as my son is barely able to speak and only confidently/fluently in front of those he knows or recognizes it would be difficult to get his version of events via interview so again difficult to build a case.
And hence why so many yound children suffer abuse/neglect which sometimes leads to fatal consequences like baby P. Just because they dont have a voice the system merely listens to the "excuse" the parent/carer gives and if its at all even slightly plausible then case closed. which is a shocking reality.

Hi,

I'm going through something similar and just make sure you record all your evidence including recording your sons own words, As for A and E this should only be used in an emergency as they are connected to the local authority safe guarding team.

If there is just superficial bruises then I am afraid your paramedic friend would probably be right.

If its any consolation I am still trying to prove child neglect through failure to attend medical appointments at a Child Support Unit.

c100 , c1a next time in court

hi

quick update: after reporting to the nspcc they fowarded to the appropriate local authority childrens services
They called me

i told them everything again and they had the record of everything previous
but the lady on the phone basically said 1) the child says he is being smacked ...it is not illegal to smack a child unless it causes a mark/buise/injury. 2) the injuries i have sent pics of are not consistent with smacking/hitting a child more so accidental ..but she could not comment on whether it was neglect. even though i said 10 in 11 months???
3) she said the aunty had no right to shout at him if it were the case but due to his age he is not able to be interviewed to establish this so basically they said keep logging it as im doing and at this stage they will just talk to his nursery and see if they have any concerns.
4) and him crying upon leaving is due to emotions knowing its time to go when hes enjoying himself??.
They dont want to look at bigger picture or put pieces together

I mentioned this to cafcass and their safeguarding letter states that i have made various reports and the police have took no further action as they found " no substance" despite seeing the injuries/bruises and me sending in the pics?? why are they so blatentley turning a blind eye.

I refuse to sit back and do nothing and let my child become another statistic like baby P or Keanu williams.

I managed to speak to a friend of a friend in social services and he said, the reason they are fobbing you off is because a) you are father with contact so they will naturally assume your doing it maliciously to make mum look bad, even though my information is consistent with evidence 2) they are flooded with cases min 30 per social worker so they will brush off anything they can.

he said i should continue reporting it otherwise the same clowns who are ignoring me will say "why didnt you report it " if something happens.

But he said from the patterns etc it appears that its only a matter of time and when a referral is made by doctor/hospital or nursery then they will have to act.

he said that there is nothing more i can do at this stage

I'm sorry you are constantly coming up against a brick wall...stay vigilant and keep logging the incidents, and as your friends friend has said, it's only a matter of time before they start to take notice. I would still say that A&E would be an option should he be injuepred in the future.

All the best