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Hello,
I have a son aged 8. I am on the Birth Certificate. I was not married to his Mother. I do have Parental Responsibility.
I have been locked in an access battle with my ex for a year. She had blocked all access and is now only allowing 1 hour per month supervised. Cafcass haven't supported this ongoing supervised situation but Mother continues to insist on it.
Now my ex has applied for permission to remove our son from the country for a year.
I am not contesting this application directly (as it seems like court will probably grant it anyway, and Mother has already told my son and got him excited about it so if I block I will be made out to be the bad guy), but I am attempting to get some conditions agreed in my favour such as extended access, mandatory return visits etc
I have now discovered that Mother is leaving the country for her year abroad on July 31st but is not taking my son with her. He is flying out with a friend of my ex 10 days later on Aug 10th.
My question is this...
As soon as my ex leaves the country without my son, does my Parental Responsibility really kick in and therefore make me the legal guardian of our son?
If he is staying with my ex's friend, is there anything stopping me from just going round to that house and demanding my son?
Will the police back me if I show my passport and a copy of sons birth certificate?
I would of course return my son to allow for his travel abroad. I am not looking to 'kidnap' (for want of a better word) him, just have a week of access prior to his year away.
I realise that this action my count against me later on, but time is running out for me and my son. Once the time has passed it has passed. If I follow the 'proper' way of doing things I won't be having a relationship with my son.
Many thanks in advance
Hi
I would seriously advise discussing this with your ex - if you are willing to let him go, rather than making a case of it (and on this timescale, it could delay her departure), I would expect her to be reasonable enough to allow you this time with him beforehand.
I will ask the CCLC to pop on and give an opinion.
Unfortunately my ex refuses to have any contact with me at all. She will not reply to emails, letters, attend mediation or even attend the courtroom.
She is proactively blocking access to our son and now the court has ordered that I be allowed some contact she now wants to remove him from the country.
Can I ask why you are not contesting it? And why you think the court would grant it even if you contested it?
Are you sure she is going to bring him back?
If she is blocking access to your son now whats to say when/if she comes back you will get any access at all. She may use the fact that you willinly let her take him out of the country for a long period of time so your not actually bothered about contact.
I can understand how you wouldnt want to upset your son if hes all excited about the trip, but isnt a realationship with his father more important.
The main reason I am not contesting, in principle, in that my ex has already told my son he is going. She has made him very excited about the prospect. I have been presented with a Fait Accompli.
This means that if I oppose the application for removal from jurisdiction then I will be made out to be the bad nasty Dad who stopped his son seeing America.
Her trip abroad is an exchange programme so it only lasts a year and the terms of the programme state that she MUST return. indeed the court would insist on that at least.
I hadn't considered the notion that she might use my acceptence of her trip and breaking of contact as a basis for further denial of access.
Hopefully you can see why I would entertain the idea of going and getting him whilst I have the law behind me in order to establish a good relationship at an early stage.
Give me the boy etc etc etc
It's a little tricky, as whatever you do, it's not going to go down well. I will ask the CCLC to pop on and advise on your options, though one of those options is the one you don't wish to consider (which I understand).
Dear Davey0001,
thank you for your enquiry.
We feel it would be more appropriate for you to call our free phone adviceline at 08088020008, or use our webchat facility which can be accessed on our website www.childrenslegalcentre.com between 9am and 6pm, as more information on your circumstances is required before we can offer any advice.
Furthermore, please note that we will not be in a position to help you if you have a solicitor instructed on this matter.
Yours sincerely,
Coram Children’s Legal Centre
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