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Hi there
Although there are no steadfast rules concerning contact times and theres lots of variation, there does seem to be a basic formula, which is a full weekend every fortnight and a weekly midweek for tea, or an overnight. As far as holidays, in the summer, you could ask for anything from a 50/50 share to a week depending on your work commitments. Alternate Christmas and birthdays is often granted and extra time at Easter....some even get Father's Day every year.
As far as filing your record of the sessions, you should write to the court and ask for permission to file them, this is procedure but they are usually quite quick in responding. Just say you have diarised the contact sessions and feel it would be helpful to the court at the review hearing if this was made available to them. Include your case number and and date of next hearing.
Thanks Nannyjane for your advice,
In respect of contact, the judge intimated at the final hearing that at review he would be looking to increase time to a full day with a view to overnight stays in the near future. As things have been quite complicated and difficult I see this as about the best I can hope for.
In terms of filing the information relating to contact sessions do I have to supply my ex with a copy in advance of the hearing?
Also to whom should I address the letter seeking permission from the court? We have the same judge that we have had throughout.
Thanks in advance.
As far as contact goes I think if you ask for more than you would be happy with then it leaves you room to compromise without losing too much! Perhaps if you put together a schedule for increasing contact, starting of with a full day as the judge suggested and then a gradual increase over a period of say six months. It will show that you are being thoughtful of your child's needs and acknowledging that the mother also needs to reach overnights a step at a time.
Anything you file with the court you also need to send a copy to the other party at the same time, or a few days later if you want to push it! You could if you wanted not send her a copy and plead ignorance...that's up to you.
Address the letter to the Judge who has been handling the case, he is the person that decides what paperwork is put before the court.
Thanks Nannyjane
I have done my letter for the judge and will send it today.
Is it a given that it will be allowed as in all our hearings so far the ex has turned up with stuff on the day and it has been permitted even though I have not had sight of it until we are basically in court?
If permission is granted when does it have to be in by?
I really hope it is allowed as my ex is playing mind games with my youngest, luckily the youngest isn't switched on enough to realise she shouldn't tell me the stuff that Mum has told her and is getting her to do.
This stuff is all diarised and I want it to be read!!
Brickhouse
Hi there
Does you ex have a solicitor? Your judge must be more informal...it's so hard to know how they will behave, some are sticklers for procedure and others are much more laid back!
In that case, you could do the same and just turn up and present it at the next hearing....it's up to you. When this has happened have you been given a copy?
If you do send the letter they will probably give you a date, or just agree to you filing it.
It's awful that the ex is using your little one in this way...keep a record of it and if it goes to cross examination you could asking her about it.
Thanks for the reply.
She dispensed with her solicitor some time ago (all the money I hand over each month is clearly not enough!!).
I have only been given copies when I have found it has been submitted to the judge and then I have to ask the court. She has never given me anything personally.
Some of the things my youngest says are so obviously my ex talking it is hard to believe. Alienation has been going on since day 1 to the extent that my older daughter refuses to see me even though I have an order saying I have contact with both children. Because of her age the judge says no one can make her attend. It is heart breaking but nothing I can do!!
It's amazing the amount of leeway a mother is given in court....even more if she's unrepresented.
I'm sorry to hear about your older daughter, her attitude could well be more to do with pleasing her mother and you might find this will change when she's older.
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