[Solved] Returning to court: Variation of Order

how old are you children and what contact are you actually getting a month. do you have half the holidays etc. I may be able to advise what you can possibly get or ways of changing wording so its harder to breach

hi warwickshire1

i got basic arrangement. every other weekend, fri-sun. and after school - 7pm mid week, every other weekend. i did not ask judge for their decision. was agreed outside court room between both parties, which i think was bad idea on my part. i did not ask for half of school holidays. i am self-employed so wont be able to commit. even before all this mess, i really just took kids on nice 1 week holiday in the summer. this arrangement has lasted for a year now.

my kids are aged 6, 3 and 1. 1 year old is out of the picture at present in terms of overnights. but im going back to court to secure day visits at home with her. at moment, only seeing her 2 hours a month.

for older kids i will ask for fri-mon every other weekend. and mid week wed-thu, every week. last year cafcass didnt recommend mid week overnights, perhaps because one child was 2 years old. i live 30 mins away from kids. what do you think of this?

thanks mate.

generally in family court unless mum is in agreement overnight contact would start with your youngest one when they are 2 years old.
I would ask for Friday pick up from school drop off at school Monday to take affect when your middle one starts school. at moment its best left as Friday pick up from school and drop off sunday pm. midweek contact overnight should be granted on a weekly basis if your older 2 are both at school.
If only 1 at school will probably be left as play and supper until 7pm. your contact with 1 year old should get increased from 2 hours up to 4 hours.

I am not sure how u arrange handovers , I imagine soon you will be having all 3 at same time so not sure how you would get them all , I am thinking of particularly the youngest one unless ex will meet you before school pick 30 mins before or something. you need to keep the school bit going as if things go horribly wrong she will find it difficult to stop contact as u go to school. if its not at school she can stop contact with all 3. depends how hostile things are between yourselves.

Remember this will be a court order that could be in place for over 10 years plus so think carefully about fitting it around your work schedule. pick up from school and drop off to school midweek should work well albeit you may not start until 930am perhaps and you could still work every other weekend if need be. perhaps u could ask for half of the holidays just so u got them but then let ex have some of it back if u need to work particularly during summer holidays

hi warwickshire,

thanks for info. 3 year old will be 4 in may. 6 will be 7 in july. i would still like to ask for mid week overnights and see how it goes. i know in my hearings last year, it was a gradual build-up to have kids, first was sat-sun, then after 3 months became fri-sun. so may have to be gradual process again.

yes things are hostile with ex. 1 police call out already lol. i had no issues doing school pick ups, until ex started causing trouble and blocked me from getting kids on a friday this past week.she expects me to be at her door at 15:30 during school holidays and leaves me no choice. so this is why i no longer want to do friday school pick ups and better off to do 5pm. better for my work schedule too.

she refuses to do any handovers. she gets her family taking turns and bringing kids out the flat. have to bite my tongue. will be real pain to hand over on high street somewhere.

Don't ever stop picking kids up from school. that's your safe haven. no matter how nasty she gets school pick ups are the hardest to stop for a vindictive ex.

You should do overnight midweek after summer holidays as both of your older kids will be at school. not sure how you will get your little one. probably best to make that every other weekend as well and you pick young one up at a time agreed maybe even a Saturday morning or straight after school Friday.

Its best you see a third party if shes that hostile especially with her calling police once even if they just pass you your youngest one. I wouldn't bother if it was me having midweek contact with little one as it maybe too much going school then back to yours and then school in morning then needing to get the youngest one back to mum before u work etc. by having her every other weekend you are still showing the family courts that you want lots of contact etc and its more plausible to sort out every other weekend or something slightly less